From A to B

Alright, so I don't have any pictures for this blog because I've had some phone issues lately and also I'm just feeling kind of lazy. Some of you know that I had a majorly cracked screen on my phone for awhile and when I FINALLY used my insurance to get a new one, they sent me a freaking refurbished phone. I mean really? How does that even make sense. I pay $10 a month to have insurance and it was $170 for the actual phone... why would I get a crappy used one?! Well, I didn't think it was going to be a problem, but with my luck, it was!

I thought it was the Lifeproof case I put on it and that I was having trouble adjusting to it, so I finally took it off only to realize that it was the actual phone screen itself that wasn't working. So then I had to call and they talked me through doing a factory reset, that didn't work so they just ended up sending me a new one - a BRAND NEW one! Jeez. Either way, I ended up losing whatever pictures I hadn't saved since my last sync with iTunes. Whatever!

I'm currently laying in bed having a lazy day because work yesterday was ridiculous. I would end up working on the day it snows/sleets/freezing rains/world ices over... whatever you wanna call it! It was crappy and coldddddddd!
I hadn't mentioned lately, but I recently (2 shifts ago) got moved from A shift to B shift, but I'm still at 32. The transfer was a bit of a surprise and I wasn't too happy at first, but I'm dealing with it now.
I was really sad to leave at first because A shift has been all I've known for the past year and 5 months. I loved my crew, I knew lots of people from A shift in the battalion, and it was just what I was used to. They moved me because I'm technically a "driver" and B shift just lost one of their drivers to another station. So, their brilliant plan was to move me to B, and a non driver from C to A. Kinda confusing, I know. But that's the deal and I had no say in the matter.

I didn't think I would be doing much driving considering the Technician is on that shift, but, to my surprise, I was driving yesterday! My second shift! I wasn't too thrilled with driving in the nasty weather but I'd have to do it eventually, so might as well get it over with!
I drove the truck to a box in Charles county. We never made it, but I at least got to see how that monster handles in the snow. Then we ran lots of engine calls - mostly med locals and crashes. But, at 0130, I wake up to 3 beeps and it turns out to be a first due house fire.
When you get woken up from your sleep like that, you don't even really have time to be nervous. I just had in my mind what I needed to do as the first due engine... which is what I THOUGHT we would be. Turns out 29's engine was literally right down the street from the call, so they ended up being first due.

I won't go into a ton of details because not everyone who reads this is in the fire department so I don't want to bore anyone with my work talk! Either way, the whole call kind of ended up being a cluster f**k and it was a huge challenge for me to overcome. The main thing was that we got water to the first due engine... even if I did have to freeze my hands off in the process of trying to hook hose up to frozen hydrants and what not! That's just part of the job you have to deal with and I know that. Granted I would have loved my first fire (while driving) to be a little more ideal than this one... it was still a great learning experience and now I know better for the next time!

Besides work, things have been going much better when it comes to my progress with eating better and working out. I'm not sure what gave me the motivation, but I just decided that I finally needed to suck it up and get some will power! Food is not everything. I don't NEED it to have fun. I don't need to eat it just because it's there in front of me.
Sometimes I wonder if the way I was raised has anything to do with my eating habits. In no way am I blaming my parents, but just the way we lived... it makes me wonder. My mom would usually cook breakfast and dinner for us. Lunch was pretty much do your own thing. Seconds were never questioned or denied and finishing your plate was a must. We also developed the tradition of McDonald's breakfast on weekend mornings, and Taco Bell after church on Sunday became a routine for our family.

I never, ever grew up with any kind of lessons on eating healthy or exercising. My sister Roch and I were the only ones in our family that ever played any team sports. That seemed to keep us in a decent amount of shape. But diet? My mom wasn't the type to makes "healthy" meals or force us to eat our vegetables. She never mentioned "hey, you're eating a little too much, no need to stuff yourself" etc. It just wasn't a big deal in our family.
It wasn't until I finally decided to start losing weight and I downloaded Myfitnesspal that I realized, WOW, I was eating TERRIBLY! I never realized how many calories are in things. If you don't read the labels on foods, you have no clue what you're putting into your body. It's shocking. I highly encourage people to just download Myfitnesspal and just go about your day how you normally would. Add in all the food you eat and see what your total is at the end of the day. I bet you will be very surprised at how much you really eat!

Back to what I was really talking about to begin with, I've been doing MUCH better. I have been using Myfitnesspal religiously and it truly has helped. As long as I hold myself accountable for what I eat, I can stay in line. It's when I start pretending that I didn't really eat something that it gets to me. That stuff adds up quick. You think you're just having a snack here and there, then bam! 800 calories later...
I can tell a difference already when I look at myself in the mirror. And of course, my main weight indicator, my work pants! They are fitting soooo much better! I love it. I love this feeling of making progress and actually accomplishing something. It feels great to be reminded that hey, watching what you eat really DOES work!

We need to stop being in denial about what we eat. I think that is the main issue a lot of us have. If you don't think about that twinkie you ate, then it's like you didn't even eat it. And that 1 chip that turns into a handful that turns into 5 handfuls. It adds up SO quick and you just don't realize how many extra calories you are putting into your body. Plus, if you aren't doing any type of exercise, then you have no room for error. My daily calorie goal is 1,200. That's with the intention of losing 2lbs per week. If I burn 500 calories, then I should eat 1,700 calories that day. If I burn 1,000 like I usually try to do, then I need to eat 2,200! That's why I workout so much, because I rather have 2,200 calories then 1,200! It is so much harder than you think to eat 1,200 calories a day and feel satisfied. I've become pretty good at putting super low calorie foods together to make decent size meals. I much rather eat pounds and pounds of lettuce and make myself feel full than eat 1 tiny cookie that doesn't serve any nutritional purpose and still leaves me feeling hungry.

Anyhoo! Sorry, I guess that was a bit of a rant, but it was just something I wanted to talk about because I think a lot of people are just totally in the dark when it comes to diet, exercise and calories in vs. calories out. Sometimes I just feel the need to preach a little:-)

This past Saturday was the final CPAT and it made me feel great. It was kind of disappointing in the beginning. We had lots of people failing right off the bat. But towards the end of the day, we were having a lot of people getting through it. I was so happy when one of the girls who comes to EVERY fitness conditioning session, and up until this point had not passed, PASSED! She almost brought me to tears because she was SO happy that she passed. You could see the relief and excitement and ACCOMPLISHMENT on her face! It just brought me back to the day that I passed CPAT and the feeling that I felt once I finished. I had to give her the biggest hug and she thanked me so much for being an inspiration to her. That... that is the thing that keeps me going and keeps me motivated. There's nothing better than being told that you are an inspiration to someone:-)
Another guy shook my hand and thanked me for all my help in the process. Things like that bring the biggest smile to my face.

So yes, things are really headed in the right direction. I just really, really need to keep myself on track this time. I'm feeling great, I'm looking better and my confidence is going up. I'm kind of sad that CPAT is over and I won't be helping out people anymore. It's something that really keeps me motivated and is just another reason for me to go workout! These people are my encouragement and they keep me going! I can't wait for another group to come around.

I suppose that's all I have for now. I hope that this can be of some help to someone out there! As always, I thank everyone for reading my blog. I'll continue to try and update more regularly:-)

xoxoxo,
Anna

Slacker!

This! This is what I need to listen to. It's so true. Once you get the mental/emotional aspect of it under control, the rest is easy from there. Like I tell people, working out is the easy part! I can workout all day, every day and it's no problem for me. It's the eating that gets me every time. The food is holding me back! I know I talk about this all the time, but it's what's on my mind!

It's been over a month since I last posted a blog. A LOT of stuff has been going on in my life that I rather not discuss. It's been very stressful which has not helped the health aspect of my life. I feel like such a slacker and like a disappointment to the people who follow my blog. I like to be an inspiration, but lately I've just been MIA!

I've been at the CPAT workouts a lot lately. I love being involved with that kind of stuff because it motivates me to do better. A lot of the people who come to the workouts really look to me for motivation and I can't let them down. Especially when it comes to the girls, I like being there to help them. To show them that if I can do it, anyone can do it. I've been thinking about bringing in some of my before and afters for the group to see, just to show them how anything is possible if you really want it.

 

 

So, I'm really excited for the holidays to be over. I dunno about everyone else, but I don't like Christmas! It's just an excuse to spend money and buy useless things. Most of the time, I can't ever decide what to get anyone because they're so hard to shop for. Luckily, we started doing secret Santa in my family which helps a lot. Because with 5 siblings and 2 parents, it's just too much to buy! Hopefully I get someone easy this year:-)

 

 



 

Eating will be so much easier after the holidays are over too. There's so much temptation around right now. Obviously for thanksgiving I didn't hold back. I went all out and ate a ton of stuff! Then, to makes things even worse, I worked the next day and it was basically "leftovers day" at the firehouse. I think I had like 5 pieces of pie! Why must food be so addictive, whyyyyy???

 

So I think I need to make some new goals or something. Not weight related goals, but something else. Like lifting goals, or maybe do another challenge. I think I'll do another "no alcohol" month again, just have to pick a month! That's a tough one for me, I'm not gonna lie... I love to drink. I've become somewhat of a wine connoisseur lately and I've just been trying new kinds almost every night. It's a bit of a hobby... not a very good one!

 

 

 

I've been thinking lately, and I really need to change up my workouts. I've gotten myself into a routine and I need to break that. I have a bad habit of always wanting to reach a calorie goal, but it's not really doing it the right way. I always get on the stairmaster for the bulk of my workout, just to burn a big chunk of calories and then the rest of my workout is usually pretty easy, just to get those last few calories off, till I eventually get to 1,000+ calories burned. But I know what I need to do is move more. Move my body and get my heart going the real way, not just by walking up steps.

 

I keep thinking back to when I was losing weight really steadily and what I was doing to accomplish that. Here's what I've decided helped me out the most...

 

1. Waking up early - If I wake up early, like 0800 or so, I seem to accomplish way more, in multiples ways. I think having my body awake and burning calories for a longer part of the day, helps with my metabolism or something like that.

2. Running. When I used to run a lot, I noticed a difference. I think having that constant high heart rate, along with moving my body constantly, it was a good way of burning lots of calories.

3. Eating lots of protein and avoiding carbs. That always helped a lot. It also made me more full.

4. Drinking LOTS of water. I always start with my gallon jug every day and try to finish that by the time I go to bed. It makes it easier to give myself a visual goal like that.

 

Those are just a few little things I found helped, soooo maybe I should listen to my own advice and get back into that routine?? Yes? Haha... except the running. It's a TAD too cold for that right now!!

 

I'm hoping that once it starts warming up I'll be able to start running and really get motivated to look good by summer time. That is my goal... to look good in a bathing suit this summer. Let's give this a try!

 

Alright, well, I'm not in much of a writing mood so I'm gonna sign off. Sorry for the lack of motivation or blogs. For my next blog I'll come up with a challenge and some more goals!

 

Till next time...





You Need Not to Climb Mountaintops...

You need not to cross the sea,
You need not to find a cure for everything that makes you weak.
You need not to reach for the stars when life becomes so dark,
And when the wind does blow against the grain,
You must follow your heart,
You must follow your heart.

When all your friends have come and gone,
And the sun no longer shines,
And the happiness for which you long is washed away like an ocean's tide,
When all the hard times outweigh the good,
And all your words are misunderstood,
When the day seems lost from the start
You must follow your heart,
You must follow your heart.

If you feel you've paid the price,
And your wounds should cease to heal
And everything you love in life spins like a winding wheel.
If you should wake to find you're abandoned,
And the road you've traveled leads to a dead-end
When death creeps in to play it's part,
You must follow your heart,
You must follow your heart.

That song... completely heart wrenching but I absolutely love it and have been listening to it constantly. I've always loved City and Colour but I just started listening to all of their older CD's as well and stumbled upon this jewel. It really just resonates with me. It gives me the chills and makes me feel so... emotional. Ugh, I know I said I wouldn't write another depressing blog...

Lately, I have been real down in the dumps. Sometimes I look back at my old life and I miss the freedom I had. Granted, I felt trapped in my fat body, I still had the freedom of being able to eat whatever I wanted and not think about the repercussions. I could go out to eat with my friends or family and not care one bit about what I was ordering. I got to enjoy some real awesome food. Still, at the end of the day I was unhappy with my body and so I decided to change that.

I had no idea that in changing my body, I would in turn change my whole life. It was like a ripple effect. Losing weight and exercising allowed me to have the career I wanted. Getting really into working out allowed me to find my passion for fitness and training. Watching what I ate made me really think of what I was putting into my body and I started learning way more about nutrition rather than just purely calorie counting. Those were all good things that losing weight affected...

I never thought about the emotional aspects it would affect. My relationship with my husband, family, and friends. The way I am perceived by those around me. In some ways people treat me like a celebrity. The fact that I lost 81 pounds blows people away and they just want to know all my secrets. I can never seem to get it through to people though that there are no secrets. People don't want to accept the fact that losing weight takes actual hard work and dedication. They all want the easy way out. Well you know all that fun you had going out to eat? You know how easy it was to stuff your face with cakes and pies and how good it felt to lay on the couch and be lazy? Working your ass off, sweating to death, being sore and wanting to die are not as easy. If it's easy, it's probably not working. Nothing worth fighting for is ever easy...

Even though I know I'm surrounded by people who support me and people who have been there throughout this whole process, I somehow manage to feel so alone. So alone on my quest to be perfect. I know perfection is an unrealistic expectation, but I can't help it. I have some image in my head of what I want to be like and I just cant seem to get there, no matter how hard I try. I've never met someone who feels just like I do. It's rare that I even find someone who likes to work out as much as me. At work I get made fun of for working out. I try not to let it get to me, but when people constantly tease you about working out and crossfit (which I don't even do) it just starts to wear on you. It's also so hard to be the only one at work and at home who lives the way I do. No one is on board with my workout or eating habits, anywhere. I have a few select friends who are very similar to me, but it's different when you live and work with people who are basically against what you do. It makes you feel very alone sometimes.

Not only has losing weight changed my life in physical, social and emotional ways, but it has made me develop some maybe not so good habits along the way. When people hear the words "eating disorder" their first thoughts are anorexia or bulimia. I can honestly say I feel like I have some type of eating disorder. I have a terrible body image and self esteem problem. People see me, and they tell me I look beautiful, amazing, awesome, hot, etc. and that's great. It really is. But I can't seem to accept those compliments. It feels nice to hear them, but deep down inside, I don't believe them. I feel like when people say stuff like that, they're only meaning I'm "hot" "beautiful" or "sexy" in comparison to my OLD self. Not just in general.

I get so frustrated at the fact that I can't lose weight that I just stop eating. For me, it's easier to just NOT eat than it is to try and eat right. And I'm a big advocate of eating properly and getting the right amount of calories and all that. But for me, I feel like I'm struggling so hard to do right and nothing is working that I just turn to starving myself. I would never condone that or encourage people to do it, I'm just telling you all what it's like for me.

I know some people can understand what I'm going through, but there's no one out there who knows EXACTLY what it's like to be me. No one can be just like me, and that's fine. Sometimes I just wish there was somebody around to be proof to me that I will get through this. I know that there will never be an "end" to my weight loss journey. There's no finish line to cross, and that's ok. This is going to be a constant battle I fight for the rest of my life and I think I'm ok with that. Working towards the perfect body gives me the motivation I need every day to keep doing what I'm doing. I hope that in my journey to perfection and through all the harsh times, that I don't hurt those around me. My only hope is to give motivation and inspiration to people who know me or people who have read my story. 

This isn't a cry for help or pity or any kind of sympathy. This is me just putting my life out there for anyone to read. Maybe someone can relate with me. Maybe this blog can reach out to someone who needs to hear these kinds of things.

Life in general is NOT easy... but there are many things you can do to make it harder, or easier on yourself. There's lots of paths you can choose, or you can make your own. Set goals, have dreams and spend however long it takes to reach them... just never give up.

Anna

...And the Streak Ends

As much as I hate feeling like a slacker, or a quitter, I know it was necessary for me to take a break from working out. Between May 27th, 2013 and September 23rd, 2013 I took no rest days. That's 151 days straight working out. I had some days that I didn't do too much, like go for long walks and stuff, because I was sick. But even on our week long vacation in NC, I worked out every day.

My friend Katie sent me an article called "7 Things Really Fit People Do to Stay In Shape" and it had so many things that I could relate to in it. Here is my favorite one that I definitely believe in...

3. They prioritize their health and fitness.

While most people let work, family, social engagements and other priorities get in the way of exercise, really fit people make exercise a priority no matter what.

Yes, this may mean having to get up 15 minutes earlier when you’d rather be sleeping, working out on vacation, or fitting in a workout even when your life seems busier than you can handle. But once you build up the habit, it actually becomes harder to not exercise because you become so used to prioritizing it in your life.

“People who are fit are the same as anyone else. The only difference is their level of commitment.” – Boxing champion Laila Ali

That's exactly how I am. It is honestly harder for me to skip a workout than it is to just get it over with! And that's because I've worked so hard to get to the point I'm at that I will feel so guilty if I miss a workout! It may be hard to get yourself into that kind of routine but it's possible if you really commit yourself.

Here is the link to the article if you want to read the rest of it!

 It's October which means breast cancer awareness month and pink shirts at work! Not gonna lie, I kind of like wearing the pink shirts. It's a nice little change from the every day navy blue.

I took this picture the other day at work and then compared it to my one from last year. I've definitely put on a little weight since then. My weight has seriously been frustrating me so much lately. I so wish that I could just be comfortable with myself no matter what, but for some reason it really gets to me. I just hate how much I go up and down and up and down. It takes me SO LONG to get my weight down to what feels really good to me, then I seem to be able to ruin that in a weekend. It makes me feel so jealous and envious of those people who can eat anything they want and it doesn't do anything to them!

I feel like I've been trying so many different ways and nothing is really working except for barely eating anything at all. I tried cutting out meats, I tried paleo, I just straight up count my calories, etc. and nothing seems to really work except for eating a very little amount of food. Which sucks, because I love to eat:-( If only eating right were as easy as exercising.

I think food is just a really tough thing for me. It's like I'm still a fat girl living in a (kinda) skinny girls body. I love to eat when I'm bored, when I'm out at special events, and especially when I drink. I'm really bad at resisting temptation when it comes to food and especially desserts. If there is some type of dessert laying around at work, it takes SO much effort for me not to eat it. I literally have a war with myself in my head, outweighing the pros and cons and I KNOW that I don't need to eat it, but for some reason I just always give in and then I hate myself afterwards.

I really just need to start working on my will power. I need to be able to just say "No" and move on! If only things were that easy...

So I'm really excited because my gym got lots of new stuff. I tried this cardio machine the other day and I like it! It really burns your quads and I felt in it my butt a lot lol. There's a few other things I haven't tried out yet but I'll get to them eventually.

I'm also really happy because CPAT conditioning sessions are back! I went the other day for the first time and I totally forgot how good of a workout I get when I go there. It's really nice to have a change in routine. I think I get in the habit of doing the same stuff over and over so it's nice for me to have a change of pace. Plus I always workout harder when I know there's people watching me.

Lt. Bussing really holds me to a high standard and always talks about me to the candidates so I feel like I have to live up to the hype! It's really encouraging for me to know that I have people who look up to me and to know that I inspire some people.

So tomorrow is the Avenged Sevenfold concert in Baltimore. We got a hotel room and we're going to go out to eat/drink before the concert. We might go out afterwards too. I'm pretty excited, although I don't LOVE their new CD, it's ok. I'm hoping they play some of their older songs that I love.

Ok, time to go be productive on this gloomy day. I'll try to make my next blog less depressing!

Have a great day!
Anna

October Challenge

We did it! We finished Iron Team 2013 in 1:31 and that's with only one 3 minute time penalty! Our team did SOOOO awesome! It was definitely the hardest thing I've ever done in my life and going into it I was so skeptical! But as the events went on and I kept getting through everything without any penalties, I realized "Hey, I CAN do this!" It was such an amazing feeling!

We ended up being 31/36 but that's ok! The time difference between each team was very close. It doesn't matter to me either way, the only thing I wanted to accomplish was finishing! And we sure did. There's no better feeling that people encouraging you and cheering you on. It's great!

After the competition, we all went out to Looney's and had a good time. I of course splurged and got a hamburger. I did burn over 1,400 calories though, so I think I deserved it! I think we all definitely want to do it again next year. This time we want to get more fire department people on board, considering we were the only fire department team there!

So the other day I went to Dick's and found out that they DO have crossfit shoes! They're sneaky and hide them in the back, so I didn't even know until I saw a manikin wearing them! So I tried on a few pairs and ended up getting these! So far I love them! Very comfortable, nice and flat for lifting, wide toe which is nice for me because I have pretty wide feet, so my toes never feel cramped in these. Not to mention, the purple is so pretty!

Speaking of Crossfit, a lot of people try to get me into it, and I know it's cool, I do like it, but I'm just not willing to pay $100-plus on top of my $83 a month gym membership! It's way too much, but I do what I can on my own, and you don't HAVE to do crossift to own these shoes so whatevssss!

How can I leave this for Crossfit anyways? My gym is so amazing and beautiful. They just made a whole bunch of upgrades to the lifting area which I love! They also got tons of new cardio equipment and put TV's on basically everything!

As snobby and pretentious as some of the people there can be, I still love it. It has everything I need, it's clean, it has pools and hot tubs which is awesome! So I think it's totally worth the $83 a month!

Oh, so CPAT conditioning just started back up again on Monday so I'm super excited about that! I better see lots of candidates there! I really hate the fact that these people have a FREE personal trainer at their hands, 3 times a week, and they still never show up! Then they expect to pass the CPAT with no prior training. Ridiculous. Hopefully we actually have more than 1 girl pass this time!

Saturday was the shooting competition for the Sons of Our Flag Burn Foundation at the trap and skeet shooting range in Glenn Dale. We had a blast. Our team consisted of Kevin, Myself, Charlie, Katie, Pete and our little junior member Aiden. Everyone made out pretty well. A few people got some plaques! I hadn't shot in at least over two year because I remember this picture and that was the last time I went shooting there. Obviously it was awhile ago because I was SO FAT. Ugh... I can't believe I looked like that! So gross.

So of course I had to get an "after" pic to compare. Much better this time around... although I'm still feeling pretty fat lately:-/ I tried really hard today to hardly eat anything and not gorge all day like I normally do!

After shooting, I figured while we were in the area-ish, I'd stop by the Trooper 2 crash site since I do every year now. I like to go and pay my respects, leave some flowers, and just sit there for a moment and remember that night.

It doesn't feel like it was 5 years ago. I just remember being at the firehouse back when I was a volunteer and it was late at night. I wasn't really paying attention to the radio; I'm pretty sure I was sleeping. We ended up getting transferred to 27 and it seemed so weird, but off we went. When we got there, I started reading the print outs for the call... there were tons of them. Back then we didn't have access to the CAD like we do now, so I couldn't just follow the call as it was going out.

I couldn't believe what I was reading, it was so wild. Things seemed so crazy and disorganized, it was so chaotic. We stayed at 27 a little bit longer and then we were released. On our way back, communications called us (the ambo) looking for our location. We were at 495 northbound and Arena Dr. They told us to respond to the helicopter crash.

We were so out of our element being in that area. I had no clue where we were going and we didn't have a mapbook for that area, so we had to use the ADC map which I'm not very good at! At least back then I wasn't.
We eventually made our way to the call and found a spot to park out of the way.

I had never seen so many higher up people in the fire department in one place. It was overwhelming and so hard to believe that this was really happening. I really didn't know what I should be doing. I almost felt like we got pushed to the side somewhat. Our ambulance was used for it's cot, blankets and a place to nap for some people. It was frustrating to me to not be able to help more.

We were there for 8 hours straight. The longest I had ever been on a call in my time in the fire department. The feelings I felt when I left the scene were mixed. I was tired, cranky, angry, frustrated and sad. I wanted to do so much more than sit by my ambulance. I wanted to be involved and be put to use. It was a very draining call, both physically and mentally. It was just very, very sad. And that is why I visit the site every year. I like being able to stand in the same spot where everything took place and just reflect. It's a very eerie but peaceful feeling.


OH, so the title of my blog... I decided on a new challenge. Last time was "No Alcohol April" and this time around I'm doing "Dessert Free October" !!!!!!!!! I know... scary. If you know me, you know I absolutely ADORE sweets. This is going to be tough. I can say no to sweets, the hard part is going to be remembering that I'm not supposed to eat them! I eat desserts so often that it's just like a regular meal to me! So I'm hoping I don't accidentally slip up! And yes, this includes NO HALLOWEEN CANDY!! Best believe, November 1st it's fair game!! Hehehe.

Anyhoo, I just got offered OT tomorrow so I must be getting to bed! Let's hope I can make this month better than last... in lots of aspects!

xoxoxo
Anna

Confessions of a Reformed Fat Girl

Ok, so I've been having some bad days this past week. I feel like I'm waiting for a break or something. A period of time where I just don't mess up, I eat perfect, I have epic workouts, and I don't go on my drunken binges. I've been struggling with that a lot lately. Am I alone in that category? I wonder if anyone else is like me when I drink. I literally become a world record eating champion. Let me tell you what I ate Friday night. This is so embarrassing, but I'm just gonna put it all out there because it'll make me feel better.
As usual, my day started out fine. Had a great workout, ate good food and felt pretty prepared for the concert that night. The fact that I burn so many calories makes me feel like I have a little room to splurge, but I always take it way too far.

We went to Union Jack's first and I had 2 margaritas and a vodka/soda/lime. I also had 8 wings. Then we headed over to Merriweather and before we sat down I got a shaved ice, blue flavor, of course. I started drinking more margaritas, which were 13 bucks by the way! Ridiculous, but they were strong! I then wanted a hot dog, so I got that, then a little later I got some boardwalk fries. When we went to leave, I saw an ice cream stand and that is my ultimate weakness. I got "Salted caramel crunch" ice cream on a pretzel cone!!! Oh. Em. Gee. Amazing ice cream!!

We left and Charlie wanted to go to Oliver's so we stopped by there for a little bit. I have no clue why, but I ordered a quesadilla. Ate that, then it was my bright idea to go to 7-11 on the way back home. I got a little thing of twix ice cream, and an El Salvadorian quesadilla, which is basically like a sweet corn bread.... ughhhh! WTF is wrong with me?? I mean, that's like 4,000 calories. I definitely didn't workout enough to eat all of that. So depressing:-(

I feel like I have to tell people this stuff sometimes because a lot of people seem to think I'm "perfect" for some reason. Like I'm a workout maniac who eats amazingly and has an awesome bod. No way. That's why I posted that picture up there. It's obvious that I am not perfect, or thin, or skinny in any way. Yeah, I do workout a ton, but I can't seem to get past this certain point because of the way I eat. I would love to have a flat stomach and ripped abs. But that actually comes from a strict diet, not just crunches and sit ups.

To the right is a beautiful body, in my opinion. She's not too small, she has curves in all the right places, and her stomach is flat. And of course the tattoos are hot! I would love to look like that! Even if it never happens, at least it gives me something to work towards. The dissatisfaction I have with my body is what keeps me going. If I had the body of my dreams, I may not workout as hard as I do now.

I really do love and appreciate when people tell me how pretty I am, or when I somehow get compared to another girl that is way hotter than me, it definitely gives me a confident boost. But that fat girl part of me can never seem to take a compliment! I'm just always in denial.

So enough about me being all blah. I need to find better stuff to talk about! My blogs used to be more interesting, now they're just a lot of whining. Typical me! Well, yesterday and Friday were really fun. Friday night Charlie and I went to Imagine Dragons at Merriweather, then yesterday Rayna and I went to Virgin Mobile Freefest. It was a blast, except for the rain! It started raining around 5pm and just made things suck. It was cold and muddy and really cramped with all the umbrellas floating around.

I mostly wanted to see City and Colour, MGMT and Robin Thicke. We got to be in the pit for City and Colour and they were great! It would've been nice to stay in there for MGMT but they make you leave the pit and come back, so once we got outside of the pavilion, it was impossible to get back in. That's right when it started raining too, so of course everyone wanted to get under the pavilion.

We decided to go over to the West Stage and find a good spot for Robin Thicke. It sucked standing in the rain for so long, but finally he came on stage and it was awesome! He put on a very good show!

We decided to leave right after he finished because we were just miserable. We walked to the closest firehouse and that's where Charlie picked us up. I'm surprised I didn't get pneumonia or something! I was so excited to get home and under the covers:-)

Since I knew I would feel crappy today, I decided to take off work. Its weird not being there when I'm supposed to! But it is nice to have a little break. Besides, I'm working tomorrow now anyways, gotta keep workin that OT! I'm also doing another burn with the recruits on Tuesday. And then, Wednesday... Iron Team! I'm starting to get soooo nervous!! I felt prepared up until they revealed one of the mystery events, which is tossing an empty keg over a VERY tall fence, then climbing the fence into the next box and doing it again for a total of 5 tosses/climbs. I've practiced it a little, but it's really tough! I'm just hoping I have tons of adrenaline that day and I can get through everything in a decent time.

Alright, it's 10:30am and I feel like I should start being productive. Not sure what I want to do today, maybe run? Maybe the gym? Or both! I've been getting back into running a lot lately and that makes me happy:-) I can easily do 6.5 miles and my knee hasn't bothered me yet! I hope it stays that way.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day and a productive week!

Anna

Always Remember, Never Forget...

Always remember...
You will make mistakes.
You will have bad days.
You can't be perfect.
You can't please everyone.
You will suffer sometimes.
You can't always get what you want.
You will have doubts.
You will hurt ones you love.

Never forget...
To love yourself.
To be thankful for what you have.
To love family and friends.
To smile every day.
To try your hardest and never give up.
That tomorrow is never promised.
Where you came from.
You are beautiful, no matter what anyone says.

And of course, Always Remember and Never Forget those who lost their lives during the tragic events of 9.11.01. I'm sure if those people could go back in time, a lot of them probably wish they would have done some things in life differently. That is why we must live life to the fullest NOW. Don't waste time wishing and hoping for things to be how you want them. Make it happen. If you want to be healthier and look better, start now. Don't just say "I wish I was thinner..." because wishing doesn't work, hard work does. I absolutely despise when people ask me what my "secret" is. HATE IT. It's not an f'ing secret! Look back at my blog. Look at what I've been through to get here. And see that I'm not at the "end" of anything. My weight is a constant battle. I didn't just reach my goal weight and stop trying! It's actually been way harder to stay at my goal weight than it was to lose those 80 pounds to begin with! So when people ask me ignorant questions like that, it really irritates me.

Anyways, I wasn't trying to make this a blog about ranting, so let me stop now and be positive! Well, kind of. I did have a somewhat bad week(end). It was fun, that's for sure, but I totally just let go. Granted, I worked out hard every day, as always, but my eating habits went out the window... wayyyy out the window. I know it's because of the drinking though. When I drink I become a bottomless abyss and I feel like I could win any type of eating contest. Screw "Man vs. Food!" I could blow that douche out of the water with my eating skills.

Of course when I drink, I start reasoning with myself. "You know, sometimes I just gotta live! I'm tired of always restraining myself and restricting myself! I just wanna eat what I wanna eat!! Jeez" All of that said with a drunken slur, of course. And it sounds good in the moment, and it's somewhat true. Sometimes it does feel nice to just be free, but I ALWAYS regret it in the morning. And then I go through the feelings of being depressed and hating myself for being such a slob. After that, I either do it again, or I start correcting myself.

Currently I'm trying to correct the damage I did over the past week. It was pretty bad. I think it's pretty unfair though that just because I ate a bag of cheeseburgers and 2 ice cream cones means I have to gain 20 pounds. I also ran 6 miles that day and burned almost 1,000 calories. What if I hadn't done that workout?! Then how much worse would it have been? I'm just envious of the people who don't have to do any type of exercise, they eat like crap, yet somehow they still are skinny. A-holes...

So anyhoo, I showed Charlie the trail where I'll be running at for the Iron Team competition the other day and we took Chief too. It was fun and very scenic. I think it may be my new trail running spot instead of Wincopin trail. Plus, it's got an epic lake all around the perimeter and it's so nice. I really wanted to go out on a boat or something so while I was at work on Tuesday, Charlie picked up a canoe from a friends house and we went out on it yesterday! Such a blast. It was so peaceful but at the same time it was a great workout! I'm definitely feeling it in my shoulders and back today. The fact that I did all upper body yesterday at the gym didn't help either!

Speaking of Iron Team, it's approaching very fast and I'm feeling semi confident! Katie and I have been going to the SOD and practicing with some of the equipment and It's not too bad when you're doing it individually but I know once we do everything combined it'll be way harder. I know we will finish though, I'm not worried about that. I'm just nervous! I don't think there are any other girls competing besides us. Maybe one other, but I'm not positive. So of course there's a lot more pressure to be awesome.

I finally went grocery shopping last night and got tons of awesome stuff. We went to Trader Joe's and Weis. There was lots of specialty stuff I wanted to get that only Trader Joe's has. I picked up some agave nectar, coconut milk ice cream, sweet potato chips, english peas, starfruit, and some random spices. Oh, and some 85% dark chocolate! Apparently chocolate isn't that paleo, but the darker the better so I got the darkest they had! We'll see how it is...

I tried the starfruit today. It's interesting. The texture is similar to a grape. The taste is sweet, but is almost like perfume. I wouldn't say I'm in love, but I might do it again. It looks pretty, that's for sure.

Last night Charlie was making BLT's so I made my own version which didn't use bread and I added a hard boiled egg and avocado. It was very yummy. I've been doing the egg/avocado combo a lot lately. The two textures mix very well together. I'll add tomatoes and tuna sometimes too, it's delish.

 

August was great. I feel pretty accomplished. Rarely were there any low calorie burn days. I think it's pretty obvious that I'm addicted to burning 1,000+ calories during all my workouts:-) I can't help it! I like being able to eat more hahaha! Also, I've been doing Insanity at work consistently now and I enjoy it. It's a real intense workout in a short period of time which is perfect cuz I never know when I'm gonna have to get up and go for a call. I've been really lucky lately though and haven't been getting interrupted during my workouts OR my showers which is a miracle!:-)

Well, I really need to go run. I got up earlier than usual today to try and get in an early run but then I was just being lazy and decided to write instead! Felt like I needed to get this over with before I procrastinated too much and waited another month!

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and enjoy these last days of summer!! I know I am!!:-)

Love,

Anna

The Vicious Cycle

You know I've been slacking when I haven't even written a blog in over a month. I actually feel embarrassed and disappointed in myself. I don't really have a legit excuse besides lots of overtime and procrastination. Mostly the latter. But as you can see from my calendar, my workouts have never been skipped. The 3 pink days were when I was sick and I couldn't do much, so I just went for walks and a run. It still counts!

Regardless of my consistent workouts, if my diet fails, then nothing gets accomplished. And I've definitely been struggling in that department. It's been tough this summer because I've had a lot of events to go to and of course there's always booze and good food involved. Even when I go into something with a positive attitude like "Yeah, I'm going to only eat a little, and only the healthy stuff..." it never turns out that way.

Or, for example, the other day I decided to make a "Williamsburg Tipsy Cake" for the guys at work. While cooking it I told myself I wasn't going to eat any at all. That it was just for them, and I would just do something while they devoured it. Wrong. Not only did I eat some at work with them, but I had leftover ingredients so I made a mini one for Charlie and myself and gorged on that. FAIL.

So currently I feel like I'm in this vicious cycle of eat good/workout a lot/eat HORRIBLE/try to make up for it/drink a lot/eat a lot/ try to make up for it/and so on. And it sucks! I'll start my day off with good intentions. I'll log all my food and eat perfectly. I'll have an amazing workout and feel great. Then I have a few options... end the night like that, binge on some healthy food before bed, or end up going out drinking and ruining everything. The drinking option has been happening a lot lately. There haven't been many days lately where I don't wake up feeling regret. A big belly full of regret.

I just hate how easily I am tempted by food. It honestly feels like an addiction. I have a very, very hard time saying no to food. Like when Eddie bought me 2 red velvet donuts at work the other day... No way I could turn those babies down! But then afterwards I sit and think to myself "Was that really worth it? Did it taste as good as the feeling you feel when you look in the mirror and see your stomach is flat??" NO. It's only satisfying for that tiny moment in time and then BOOM. Automatically I feel depressed afterwards.

I wish there were some type of pill or something to make my mind not want food all the time. I just love to eat. I think about food all the time. Especially at work, it can be slow sometimes and I just wander into the kitchen all the time to see what I can snack on, thinking "Oh, just a few bites won't hurt..." but when you do that 10 times, it eventually catches up to you.

I know I'm sitting here ranting so much and it's probably annoying, but I just have to get this off my mind. I know some people can probably relate to this, but others don't seem to be able to relate to me. Like, it's honestly frustrating for me to see the guys at work eat way more than I do, and they don't work out one bit, but they don't change. They just stay the same and that's that. Me? I eat less, I workout a ton, yet if I have one bite too many, I blow up like a balloon. I know this sounds so bratty, but god it's so unfair! The hardest part is not letting it get me so down that I decide to just give up. Regardless of how much my weight goes up and down, I still stay committed and bust my butt in the gym.

Like I told Charlie the other night, (while I was tipsy at The Cheesecake Factory) I'm trying... I'm trying REALLY hard to get to the point where I can just accept things. Why can't I just accept my body the way it is, but continue to improve it? I said "Even if I am a little chubby and don't have a nice, slim physique like I want, at least I'm strong. I have that. I'm very strong and it's even better with a little weight behind it." Right? I felt kind of weak saying that, because it sounded like something a complacent person would say and that is not what I am. I just want to be happy, that's all.

Besides FEELING fat lately, I've been doing great in the gym. Always trying new stuff and pushing myself harder. Today I stayed in the gym for 2 hours. And surprisingly, only 30 minutes of that was on the stairmaster. Even though I love it, I do feel like the stairmaster is like cheating. All I'm doing is walking up stairs repeatedly so even though it does burn a ton of calories, it's not the same as moving my body around and using my own body weight and stuff to get my heart rate up. I did a lot of lifting today, combined with some ab work and some crossfit stuff. It was a good time and I was completely drenched. I love it when my hair looks like a just got out of the shower;-)

No matter how discouraged I can get, I refuse to give up. I always have to look back and see how far I've come. I sometimes look at old pictures of myself just to remind myself what I NEVER want to look like again. And I suppose that whatever I look like now, is better than what I used to! Still, I'm always trying to improve and I hope that one day I can look at a picture of myself and go "Wow, I look good!"

Hopefully I can get my butt back on track soon. I'm hoping once summer is over that I can be more strict on myself. I have a few events coming up that should be a good time, but of course I'll be drinking/eating. There's a crab feast next week, the MDA tournament, and 2 concerts! In October I'm going to the Avenged Sevenfold concert with Charlie, then our 3 year anniversary will be a couple weeks later, so that'll be a splurge! I think we're going to Philly for a couple of days. You know I gotta have a cheesesteak!!:-)

There's probably a lot more I could whine about, but I will refrain. Time to watch some Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune, then bed! Work tomorrow:-) Thanks for listening to my rant!

xoxoxo
Anna

Rest Days?

Rosemary grilled salmon kabobs

Who needs em? Well, apparently me... I guess. Everyone knows I'm addicted to working out. Once I got on this roll I just couldn't stop. I look at my calendar every day and see all my work and I just can't stand to miss a day! It would make me very, very sad. So I choose to not have rest days. I know everyone says you need them, but I'm stubborn, what can I say?

Well, I think the no rest days finally caught up to me. That, coupled with the fact that I've been working overtime like a mad man! It started on Monday, I had worked at station 1 and went from there to station 30 to workout then do the CPAT conditioning class. I didn't actually think I was teaching the class that night but the person who was supposed to didn't show up, so I took over.

I came up with an awesome little routine for them. We did some pair workouts and then played with the bricks. Then someone decided to ask for more legs so that's what they got! We crushed legs! Wow, even MY legs were killing me. At the very end I even managed to slip some pilates in there!

Well, after an awesome workout, I got in my car to leave and noticed a little pinch in my throat when I swallowed. I didn't think much of it. It seemed to go away. I had some dinner and hung out with Charlie for a little bit then we hit the hay and it started coming back before I fell asleep. When he woke me up the next morning to say goodbye, I could tell it had gotten much worse. I could barely swallow and I was feeling pretty weak. I slept in a little longer and when I got up I took my temperature which turned out to be 100.4 Greaaaaat. So I made a doctors appointment for 1:45.

Egg whites with cocoa powder & strawberries

Well, unfortunately the doctor thinks its probably strep throat but I won't find out until tomorrow. Regardless, she started me on antibiotics. I had to call out of work today which sucks. Of course I feel guilty even though I know it was for the best.

So, besides not being able to do my usual killer workouts, I've been ok! I've mostly been working on eating "paleo" now. It's honestly not too bad. It's just hard to resist all the bread and cheese and dairy. Those are my weaknesses. But really, I didn't plan on being super strict paleo anyways. I still want to include grains and dairy in my diet, just not a lot.

Which brings me to the discussion of diets. I was thinking about it recently; how there are so many different "diets" people are on. Weight Watchers, Adkins, Medifast, whatever that shake diet is, and Paleo. I've chose to do paleo as well as still count my calories because counting my calories has always worked for me. It seems to be the one thing that keeps me on track with HOW MUCH I eat, at least. It may not always be the healthiest food, but at least I know it's not too much of a bad thing.

Now that I think about it, diets are almost like religions. Everyone has their own thing and they always think their thing is better. Certain diets seem cult like too. There's no way for me to say which way is the best way to go. My diet has kind of evolved over time. I didn't really pay attention to what I ate when I first started losing weight and I did still lose a lot of weight. But now I'm to the point where I want my body to be in it's prime. To be healthy and strong and energized! I want it to be happy with what I'm feeding it. That's why I chose paleo, because it seems to make the most sense when you read about it. By the way, if anyone is interested in learning about paleo, go to this website and read the 15 tips under "Paleo 101" https://www.paleodietlifestyle.com

That website also has great recipes that we've been trying. The first picture in this blog is a recipe from that site and it was amazing!! So delicious. And after you eat a paleo meal you feel so clean and satisfied and just healthy! I've already noticed some changes in my body and it's helping with my weight too, so I'm sticking with it!

Whichever way you are choosing to lose weight, just remember that it needs to become a permanent lifestyle change. It's not a temporary thing. If you want to lose weight and keep it off, you have to stay consistent with the way you eat. I've already learned the hard way that if you go back to your old ways, the weight will come back, fast!

Another topic I wanted to discuss was exercise. Lately, I've had a few people approach me and ask for tips or help with working out. I've even had people ask me to basically personally train them, which is surprising because I definitely am not a personal trainer. I think it's very flattering that people would come to me with those types of questions, but I find it very hard to answer them.

People seem to ask me questions that come off like they are looking for a simple solution to their problems. They want to know some "quick tips" or my "secrets." I definitely don't have any secrets. I think I make it pretty clear that all I do is bust my butt working out every day. It is simple. Eat less, workout more. That's all it comes down to. But there's no way that I can physically give people the motivation they need to get started. Everyone asks me "What clicked for you?" and I just don't know what to say! I never had an "A-ha" moment where everything just made sense. It all just slowly came together for me and I began to develop a love and passion for working out. I just can't tell people how to feel that same way!

So I apologize to anyone who is looking for help from me. I wish I could tell you there was a magic pill, but there's not. It takes lots of hard work and dedication. Sweat and tears. Ups and downs. 2 steps forward and 1 step back kind of deal. But if you give it your all and never lose sight of your goals and dreams then you will get there, I promise.

Well I must be off to go lay on the couch and sulk about being sick. The best part has been watching "Orange Is The New Black" all day. That show is AWESOME! Highly recommend it!

Oh, by the way, I've reached over 1,000 views!!! Yay!! Thank you wonderful people:-)

Bro, Do You Even Blog?

Before you think I was just slacking and not writing any blogs, I'll explain! The charger for our laptop decided to die and stop charging, so we had to get a new one. We just slacked a little on doing that. Needless to say, I didn't have any other way to write and there's no way I was going to try and write a blog from my phone! So, sorry about that! Now I have a bunch of stuff to catch up on!

My last blog talked about going to Nags Head and how nervous I was. I was pretty optimistic in the beginning. Before we left I weighed myself and I was 151. Not my lowest, but I was pretty happy with that number. I really tried to stay positive and remind myself often that just because I'm on vacation, doesn't mean I need to stuff my face! I'd have to say that I did pretty darn good with my eating throughout the trip. My breakfast and lunch were always good. Dinner was the only big meal I would have, and I usually had some kind of dessert.

Of course like every day, 5 times a day, I had to check myself out in the mirror to see how I was looking. I can tell any little difference in my weight just by looking at my stomach. To my surprise, my stomach was looking better than before while I was on vacation! At least the first few days it was... haha. Not to mention, my tan was getting better and better.

In the end, I did end up gaining quite a bit of weight. I was a little disappointed because I felt like I tried my hardest not to eat too bad AND I managed to work out every frickin day of my vacation! It makes me wonder, what if I hadn't worked out? How much worse would it have been?

The nice thing about the workouts was I got to rediscover my love of running and I was able to do it without my knee ever really bothering me. That was a nice feeling, especially considering it was one of the few things I could do while there. But, I also discovered that we had bikes at the house and I did some riding. I forgot how fun it is to ride a bike! It's also sooo much easier than running! I was able to do 11 miles in about 45 mins. It was fun!

I scanned back through my older blogs a little to see if I ever wrote about my tire. Did I?! I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but if not, I got my own big tire at 32! See, even though the guys tease me about working out and call me crazy, I know they care because they got me my very own tire to workout with!:-)

This thing is HUGE. A lot bigger than the one we have at station 30. I'd say it's about 350lbs or so. I can only flip it about 10 times max, but I am making progress with it. I've discovered lots of other stuff to do with it though. Dips, push ups, box jumps, ab work. It's very versatile. That's one thing about working out, you have to get creative. Think outside the box. Besides the StairMaster, I really don't like using any machines to workout with. Using your own body weight is so much better than sitting around on machines and working one muscle group at a time.

I worked this 4th of July, so I decided to bring in some patriotic snacks. For breakfast I brought a fruit bowl filled with strawberries, blueberries and bananas. It was delish. I love fruit so much. I try to eat it whenever I'm craving a dessert, which is a lot!

I thought the 4th might be a little bit busier at work, but it was actually slower than normal! We barely ran any calls. I started to get bored! We did have a nice joint lunch with 21 though, that was nice. Bobby cooked us an awesome meal. I think I definitely ate too much that day!

Of course I still worked out that day, but I don't remember how good of a workout it was. I try to burn at least 500 calories when I'm at work. It's rare that I get to my usual 1,000! But I just try to remember that something is better than nothing!

I also made a cake for us! It was funfetti, my favorite! I think everyone liked it, considering it didn't last more than 20 minutes lol.

I worked 36 hours straight Sunday/Monday and that was busy! We ran 10 calls on Monday, which is pretty busy for us. It wasn't so much the call volume as it was the wait times at the hospital! We were there about 2 hours every time. I basically had less than an hour between all of my calls so my workout on Monday was lame!

Yesterday Charlie and I started renovating the back yard. We had kind of let it get messy and decided that it needed a makeover. When Charlie got the house, it had a little area marked off for a playground and we just left it there. It started off as wood chips but then ivy started growing all over it and taking over the whole area and surrounding fence. Some of the bushes back there were getting out of control and Chief had made a graveyard of poop and old toys.

We were able to rip up all the ivy, trim some bushes, pull up the tarp stuff that was under the wood chips, clean up the toys and pick up some sticks. We still need to get the wooden beams that outline the little playground area out of the ground but they're really nailed in there! Gotta figure out how to pull them out, then we need to find a way to get all the junk we pulled up out of the backyard and disposed of.

After that, which was a workout in itself, we went to our friend Potter's workout that he does at station 10. He started this group workout a couple weeks ago and Charlie had been going but this was my first time. It was pretty fun! We did box jumps on the tires, decline push ups, sledge hits, and walked the stairs with a hose pack on our shoulder. We flipped the tires some and did some abs as well. All in all, a good workout! I think the group is great for Charlie and hopefully all the guys will continue with it.

Later, we rewarded ourselves with a nice little dinner on our deck. We did a paleo recipe "Lemon chicken kabobs with grilled zucchini" and it was delicious! We also grilled some peppers and had an avocado on the side. It was really good!! I'm definitely going to try more paleo recipes. I like them because they're so simple with minimal ingredients which is nice for me because I'm really not the best cook!

After my two workouts yesterday and my awesome dinner, I'm feeling great today and I even lost some weight. I'm hovering around 154 now so I'm getting close to being back to pre-vacation weight. I'm not sure why it's taking so long, but I guess summer time is just hard. So many parties and cookouts, trips to OC, nights of going out drinking, etc. It's going to be tough. I guess all I can do to combat that is amp up my workouts even more!

Tonight is CPAT conditioning at station 30 and I'll be there, as always. I really enjoy those workouts. The group atmosphere is nice and the fact that all the girls who come seem to idol me is very flattering. It makes me feel so proud to be me! I'm really loving all this CPAT stuff I've been doing. It's become almost like a part time job and another passion of mine. Working out makes me happy! I know most people can't understand that, but that's what makes me able to keep pushing myself every day. Working out has to become a habit, not just something you HAVE to do but don't really want to. It just needs to be a part of your normal routine like showering and brushing your teeth. And I think the fact that for the past TWO months I haven't missed a single workout just goes to show that you CAN do it, no matter how busy you are. I always find time to workout, even at work. So... no excuses people!

I think that'll do for a catch up post. I'll try not to get so behind on my blogs again! There's going to be some exciting stuff coming to blog about so look out for some new posts soon!

As always, thanks for reading:-)

Anna

I'm So Gifted At Finding What I Don't Like The Most

It's 9:30 on a Saturday night and I'm at home alone writing a blog. How cool am I? It's so hard to be responsible. I would have really enjoyed going out tonight, but alas, I accepted 12 hours of overtime tomorrow, so I must be good and go to bed early tonight. This whole weekend has been so not cray. I worked the first 8 hours of my first day off. Then I was tired so I didn't go out last night. Then I'm not going out tonight. And I won't be doing anything fun tomorrow between getting off work and getting ready for work the next day! So yeah. Blah.

Either way, I spent these three days off mostly trying to get rid of my Gettysburg weight. So yeah, no weigh in for me this week! Haha. I didn't gain a lot, but enough to get on my nerves and feel depressed about it. I just hate how frickin hard it is to lose 1 pound, but to gain 5 is sooooo easy! It can be so frustrating. And I can tell so easily when I've put on just a little. I see it. I think every single time I go to the bathroom I stare at myself in the mirror and critique my body for a few minutes until it makes me mad and I just move on.

I try my best to be positive, but sometimes I need to be hard on myself if I wanna make any progress. When I start to let things slide is when I start to gain weight. So I must be my toughest critic. I am being positive by not telling you how much weight I gained though! I'm sure I can get it off pretty quick... hopefully. I really don't like setbacks, but I know they will happen every now and then so I just try to accept it and move along.

Today was fun! I went to the CrossFit Regionals with Katie who is a friend of mine in the department and we watched them do their thang. It was awesome!! I had a great time and it was such good motivation to become stronger and more ripped!! I so want to do what those girls can do. It's amazing!

After that I came home and went to the mall to get my eyebrows did. I like getting my eyebrows threaded so I go to this place at Columbia mall. I always try to get the same lady because she does an awesome job! While I was there I decided to make a little pit stop at Elite (Sports Authority) and look for some new shoes. I wanted some that I could wear while lifting and doing my classes like Kickboxing and Total Conditioning. I needed something more light and stable. My shoes are all running shoes so they're really not meant for the kind of workouts I do.

I ended up getting these. Nike Free's Trainers. They're so light and comfortable! Very flexible too. I can't wait to try them out tomorrow when I go workout! I picked them out of the three I tried on because they were the most comfortable but also, they're black lol. If you know me, you know my favorite color is black and that's pretty much all I wear. So I was sold!

I think when I get off work tomorrow night I'll stop by 30 and get my sweat on. I'm definitely gonna try some of the workouts I saw at CrossFit today. I'd be too scared to try them at LifeTime because I'd probably mess up and embarrass myself! Hahaha!

Ok, I have a question for people. I encountered an issue tonight. I always have this problem... Peeling hard boiled eggs! Arghhhh. I've tried a few tricks that people have told me and still I always end up with some ratchet looking eggs! I got this plastic egg timer thing from William Sonoma and I thought it worked great at first. You're supposed to leave the egg in the water until the egg timer turns a certain color then take them out of the water. I've also tried adding salt to the water and that didn't work. Anyone have any advice?!

I'm starting to freak out. 1 more week till we head to Nags Head, NC for a week. I'm excited obviously but my paranoid workout addict self is kicking in and I'm so worried I'm going to gain like 50 pounds while I'm away. I'm hoping that my crazy workout streak will keep me committed to doing something every day. Even if it's just something small, I have to. And I really, really need to watch what I eat. I need to not give into my bad vacation habits. I'm going to come up with a chant to tell myself over and over again before we get there and throughout the trip!

One last thing before I hit the hay. Has anyone tried getting wrapped? It seems like the new craze and luckily I know someone who does it so I am going to give it a try! I've heard from a few people that they've had good results. Even if it is just temporary, I'm still willing to give it a shot. Even if it just makes my flabby stomach look a little better before the beach, I'll be happy! I'll make sure to take before and after pics/measurements so I can post them on here. I'm going Tuesday so I will update after that!:-)

I'm tired now! Bed time for me. Hope tomorrow isn't too busy on the ambulance!

Have a wonderful weekend peeps!

P.S. I love hearing from people that they read my blog! It's such a pleasant surprise and it makes me happy. BTW, I'm almost at 10,000 views!!! I <3 you guys!