Alright, so I don't have any pictures for this blog because I've had some phone issues lately and also I'm just feeling kind of lazy. Some of you know that I had a majorly cracked screen on my phone for awhile and when I FINALLY used my insurance to get a new one, they sent me a freaking refurbished phone. I mean really? How does that even make sense. I pay $10 a month to have insurance and it was $170 for the actual phone... why would I get a crappy used one?! Well, I didn't think it was going to be a problem, but with my luck, it was!
I thought it was the Lifeproof case I put on it and that I was having trouble adjusting to it, so I finally took it off only to realize that it was the actual phone screen itself that wasn't working. So then I had to call and they talked me through doing a factory reset, that didn't work so they just ended up sending me a new one - a BRAND NEW one! Jeez. Either way, I ended up losing whatever pictures I hadn't saved since my last sync with iTunes. Whatever!
I'm currently laying in bed having a lazy day because work yesterday was ridiculous. I would end up working on the day it snows/sleets/freezing rains/world ices over... whatever you wanna call it! It was crappy and coldddddddd!
I hadn't mentioned lately, but I recently (2 shifts ago) got moved from A shift to B shift, but I'm still at 32. The transfer was a bit of a surprise and I wasn't too happy at first, but I'm dealing with it now.
I was really sad to leave at first because A shift has been all I've known for the past year and 5 months. I loved my crew, I knew lots of people from A shift in the battalion, and it was just what I was used to. They moved me because I'm technically a "driver" and B shift just lost one of their drivers to another station. So, their brilliant plan was to move me to B, and a non driver from C to A. Kinda confusing, I know. But that's the deal and I had no say in the matter.
I didn't think I would be doing much driving considering the Technician is on that shift, but, to my surprise, I was driving yesterday! My second shift! I wasn't too thrilled with driving in the nasty weather but I'd have to do it eventually, so might as well get it over with!
I drove the truck to a box in Charles county. We never made it, but I at least got to see how that monster handles in the snow. Then we ran lots of engine calls - mostly med locals and crashes. But, at 0130, I wake up to 3 beeps and it turns out to be a first due house fire.
When you get woken up from your sleep like that, you don't even really have time to be nervous. I just had in my mind what I needed to do as the first due engine... which is what I THOUGHT we would be. Turns out 29's engine was literally right down the street from the call, so they ended up being first due.
I won't go into a ton of details because not everyone who reads this is in the fire department so I don't want to bore anyone with my work talk! Either way, the whole call kind of ended up being a cluster f**k and it was a huge challenge for me to overcome. The main thing was that we got water to the first due engine... even if I did have to freeze my hands off in the process of trying to hook hose up to frozen hydrants and what not! That's just part of the job you have to deal with and I know that. Granted I would have loved my first fire (while driving) to be a little more ideal than this one... it was still a great learning experience and now I know better for the next time!
Besides work, things have been going much better when it comes to my progress with eating better and working out. I'm not sure what gave me the motivation, but I just decided that I finally needed to suck it up and get some will power! Food is not everything. I don't NEED it to have fun. I don't need to eat it just because it's there in front of me.
Sometimes I wonder if the way I was raised has anything to do with my eating habits. In no way am I blaming my parents, but just the way we lived... it makes me wonder. My mom would usually cook breakfast and dinner for us. Lunch was pretty much do your own thing. Seconds were never questioned or denied and finishing your plate was a must. We also developed the tradition of McDonald's breakfast on weekend mornings, and Taco Bell after church on Sunday became a routine for our family.
I never, ever grew up with any kind of lessons on eating healthy or exercising. My sister Roch and I were the only ones in our family that ever played any team sports. That seemed to keep us in a decent amount of shape. But diet? My mom wasn't the type to makes "healthy" meals or force us to eat our vegetables. She never mentioned "hey, you're eating a little too much, no need to stuff yourself" etc. It just wasn't a big deal in our family.
It wasn't until I finally decided to start losing weight and I downloaded Myfitnesspal that I realized, WOW, I was eating TERRIBLY! I never realized how many calories are in things. If you don't read the labels on foods, you have no clue what you're putting into your body. It's shocking. I highly encourage people to just download Myfitnesspal and just go about your day how you normally would. Add in all the food you eat and see what your total is at the end of the day. I bet you will be very surprised at how much you really eat!
Back to what I was really talking about to begin with, I've been doing MUCH better. I have been using Myfitnesspal religiously and it truly has helped. As long as I hold myself accountable for what I eat, I can stay in line. It's when I start pretending that I didn't really eat something that it gets to me. That stuff adds up quick. You think you're just having a snack here and there, then bam! 800 calories later...
I can tell a difference already when I look at myself in the mirror. And of course, my main weight indicator, my work pants! They are fitting soooo much better! I love it. I love this feeling of making progress and actually accomplishing something. It feels great to be reminded that hey, watching what you eat really DOES work!
We need to stop being in denial about what we eat. I think that is the main issue a lot of us have. If you don't think about that twinkie you ate, then it's like you didn't even eat it. And that 1 chip that turns into a handful that turns into 5 handfuls. It adds up SO quick and you just don't realize how many extra calories you are putting into your body. Plus, if you aren't doing any type of exercise, then you have no room for error. My daily calorie goal is 1,200. That's with the intention of losing 2lbs per week. If I burn 500 calories, then I should eat 1,700 calories that day. If I burn 1,000 like I usually try to do, then I need to eat 2,200! That's why I workout so much, because I rather have 2,200 calories then 1,200! It is so much harder than you think to eat 1,200 calories a day and feel satisfied. I've become pretty good at putting super low calorie foods together to make decent size meals. I much rather eat pounds and pounds of lettuce and make myself feel full than eat 1 tiny cookie that doesn't serve any nutritional purpose and still leaves me feeling hungry.
Anyhoo! Sorry, I guess that was a bit of a rant, but it was just something I wanted to talk about because I think a lot of people are just totally in the dark when it comes to diet, exercise and calories in vs. calories out. Sometimes I just feel the need to preach a little:-)
This past Saturday was the final CPAT and it made me feel great. It was kind of disappointing in the beginning. We had lots of people failing right off the bat. But towards the end of the day, we were having a lot of people getting through it. I was so happy when one of the girls who comes to EVERY fitness conditioning session, and up until this point had not passed, PASSED! She almost brought me to tears because she was SO happy that she passed. You could see the relief and excitement and ACCOMPLISHMENT on her face! It just brought me back to the day that I passed CPAT and the feeling that I felt once I finished. I had to give her the biggest hug and she thanked me so much for being an inspiration to her. That... that is the thing that keeps me going and keeps me motivated. There's nothing better than being told that you are an inspiration to someone:-)
Another guy shook my hand and thanked me for all my help in the process. Things like that bring the biggest smile to my face.
So yes, things are really headed in the right direction. I just really, really need to keep myself on track this time. I'm feeling great, I'm looking better and my confidence is going up. I'm kind of sad that CPAT is over and I won't be helping out people anymore. It's something that really keeps me motivated and is just another reason for me to go workout! These people are my encouragement and they keep me going! I can't wait for another group to come around.
I suppose that's all I have for now. I hope that this can be of some help to someone out there! As always, I thank everyone for reading my blog. I'll continue to try and update more regularly:-)
xoxoxo,
Anna
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