Confessions of a Reformed Fat Girl

Ok, so I've been having some bad days this past week. I feel like I'm waiting for a break or something. A period of time where I just don't mess up, I eat perfect, I have epic workouts, and I don't go on my drunken binges. I've been struggling with that a lot lately. Am I alone in that category? I wonder if anyone else is like me when I drink. I literally become a world record eating champion. Let me tell you what I ate Friday night. This is so embarrassing, but I'm just gonna put it all out there because it'll make me feel better.
As usual, my day started out fine. Had a great workout, ate good food and felt pretty prepared for the concert that night. The fact that I burn so many calories makes me feel like I have a little room to splurge, but I always take it way too far.

We went to Union Jack's first and I had 2 margaritas and a vodka/soda/lime. I also had 8 wings. Then we headed over to Merriweather and before we sat down I got a shaved ice, blue flavor, of course. I started drinking more margaritas, which were 13 bucks by the way! Ridiculous, but they were strong! I then wanted a hot dog, so I got that, then a little later I got some boardwalk fries. When we went to leave, I saw an ice cream stand and that is my ultimate weakness. I got "Salted caramel crunch" ice cream on a pretzel cone!!! Oh. Em. Gee. Amazing ice cream!!

We left and Charlie wanted to go to Oliver's so we stopped by there for a little bit. I have no clue why, but I ordered a quesadilla. Ate that, then it was my bright idea to go to 7-11 on the way back home. I got a little thing of twix ice cream, and an El Salvadorian quesadilla, which is basically like a sweet corn bread.... ughhhh! WTF is wrong with me?? I mean, that's like 4,000 calories. I definitely didn't workout enough to eat all of that. So depressing:-(

I feel like I have to tell people this stuff sometimes because a lot of people seem to think I'm "perfect" for some reason. Like I'm a workout maniac who eats amazingly and has an awesome bod. No way. That's why I posted that picture up there. It's obvious that I am not perfect, or thin, or skinny in any way. Yeah, I do workout a ton, but I can't seem to get past this certain point because of the way I eat. I would love to have a flat stomach and ripped abs. But that actually comes from a strict diet, not just crunches and sit ups.

To the right is a beautiful body, in my opinion. She's not too small, she has curves in all the right places, and her stomach is flat. And of course the tattoos are hot! I would love to look like that! Even if it never happens, at least it gives me something to work towards. The dissatisfaction I have with my body is what keeps me going. If I had the body of my dreams, I may not workout as hard as I do now.

I really do love and appreciate when people tell me how pretty I am, or when I somehow get compared to another girl that is way hotter than me, it definitely gives me a confident boost. But that fat girl part of me can never seem to take a compliment! I'm just always in denial.

So enough about me being all blah. I need to find better stuff to talk about! My blogs used to be more interesting, now they're just a lot of whining. Typical me! Well, yesterday and Friday were really fun. Friday night Charlie and I went to Imagine Dragons at Merriweather, then yesterday Rayna and I went to Virgin Mobile Freefest. It was a blast, except for the rain! It started raining around 5pm and just made things suck. It was cold and muddy and really cramped with all the umbrellas floating around.

I mostly wanted to see City and Colour, MGMT and Robin Thicke. We got to be in the pit for City and Colour and they were great! It would've been nice to stay in there for MGMT but they make you leave the pit and come back, so once we got outside of the pavilion, it was impossible to get back in. That's right when it started raining too, so of course everyone wanted to get under the pavilion.

We decided to go over to the West Stage and find a good spot for Robin Thicke. It sucked standing in the rain for so long, but finally he came on stage and it was awesome! He put on a very good show!

We decided to leave right after he finished because we were just miserable. We walked to the closest firehouse and that's where Charlie picked us up. I'm surprised I didn't get pneumonia or something! I was so excited to get home and under the covers:-)

Since I knew I would feel crappy today, I decided to take off work. Its weird not being there when I'm supposed to! But it is nice to have a little break. Besides, I'm working tomorrow now anyways, gotta keep workin that OT! I'm also doing another burn with the recruits on Tuesday. And then, Wednesday... Iron Team! I'm starting to get soooo nervous!! I felt prepared up until they revealed one of the mystery events, which is tossing an empty keg over a VERY tall fence, then climbing the fence into the next box and doing it again for a total of 5 tosses/climbs. I've practiced it a little, but it's really tough! I'm just hoping I have tons of adrenaline that day and I can get through everything in a decent time.

Alright, it's 10:30am and I feel like I should start being productive. Not sure what I want to do today, maybe run? Maybe the gym? Or both! I've been getting back into running a lot lately and that makes me happy:-) I can easily do 6.5 miles and my knee hasn't bothered me yet! I hope it stays that way.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day and a productive week!

Anna

Always Remember, Never Forget...

Always remember...
You will make mistakes.
You will have bad days.
You can't be perfect.
You can't please everyone.
You will suffer sometimes.
You can't always get what you want.
You will have doubts.
You will hurt ones you love.

Never forget...
To love yourself.
To be thankful for what you have.
To love family and friends.
To smile every day.
To try your hardest and never give up.
That tomorrow is never promised.
Where you came from.
You are beautiful, no matter what anyone says.

And of course, Always Remember and Never Forget those who lost their lives during the tragic events of 9.11.01. I'm sure if those people could go back in time, a lot of them probably wish they would have done some things in life differently. That is why we must live life to the fullest NOW. Don't waste time wishing and hoping for things to be how you want them. Make it happen. If you want to be healthier and look better, start now. Don't just say "I wish I was thinner..." because wishing doesn't work, hard work does. I absolutely despise when people ask me what my "secret" is. HATE IT. It's not an f'ing secret! Look back at my blog. Look at what I've been through to get here. And see that I'm not at the "end" of anything. My weight is a constant battle. I didn't just reach my goal weight and stop trying! It's actually been way harder to stay at my goal weight than it was to lose those 80 pounds to begin with! So when people ask me ignorant questions like that, it really irritates me.

Anyways, I wasn't trying to make this a blog about ranting, so let me stop now and be positive! Well, kind of. I did have a somewhat bad week(end). It was fun, that's for sure, but I totally just let go. Granted, I worked out hard every day, as always, but my eating habits went out the window... wayyyy out the window. I know it's because of the drinking though. When I drink I become a bottomless abyss and I feel like I could win any type of eating contest. Screw "Man vs. Food!" I could blow that douche out of the water with my eating skills.

Of course when I drink, I start reasoning with myself. "You know, sometimes I just gotta live! I'm tired of always restraining myself and restricting myself! I just wanna eat what I wanna eat!! Jeez" All of that said with a drunken slur, of course. And it sounds good in the moment, and it's somewhat true. Sometimes it does feel nice to just be free, but I ALWAYS regret it in the morning. And then I go through the feelings of being depressed and hating myself for being such a slob. After that, I either do it again, or I start correcting myself.

Currently I'm trying to correct the damage I did over the past week. It was pretty bad. I think it's pretty unfair though that just because I ate a bag of cheeseburgers and 2 ice cream cones means I have to gain 20 pounds. I also ran 6 miles that day and burned almost 1,000 calories. What if I hadn't done that workout?! Then how much worse would it have been? I'm just envious of the people who don't have to do any type of exercise, they eat like crap, yet somehow they still are skinny. A-holes...

So anyhoo, I showed Charlie the trail where I'll be running at for the Iron Team competition the other day and we took Chief too. It was fun and very scenic. I think it may be my new trail running spot instead of Wincopin trail. Plus, it's got an epic lake all around the perimeter and it's so nice. I really wanted to go out on a boat or something so while I was at work on Tuesday, Charlie picked up a canoe from a friends house and we went out on it yesterday! Such a blast. It was so peaceful but at the same time it was a great workout! I'm definitely feeling it in my shoulders and back today. The fact that I did all upper body yesterday at the gym didn't help either!

Speaking of Iron Team, it's approaching very fast and I'm feeling semi confident! Katie and I have been going to the SOD and practicing with some of the equipment and It's not too bad when you're doing it individually but I know once we do everything combined it'll be way harder. I know we will finish though, I'm not worried about that. I'm just nervous! I don't think there are any other girls competing besides us. Maybe one other, but I'm not positive. So of course there's a lot more pressure to be awesome.

I finally went grocery shopping last night and got tons of awesome stuff. We went to Trader Joe's and Weis. There was lots of specialty stuff I wanted to get that only Trader Joe's has. I picked up some agave nectar, coconut milk ice cream, sweet potato chips, english peas, starfruit, and some random spices. Oh, and some 85% dark chocolate! Apparently chocolate isn't that paleo, but the darker the better so I got the darkest they had! We'll see how it is...

I tried the starfruit today. It's interesting. The texture is similar to a grape. The taste is sweet, but is almost like perfume. I wouldn't say I'm in love, but I might do it again. It looks pretty, that's for sure.

Last night Charlie was making BLT's so I made my own version which didn't use bread and I added a hard boiled egg and avocado. It was very yummy. I've been doing the egg/avocado combo a lot lately. The two textures mix very well together. I'll add tomatoes and tuna sometimes too, it's delish.

 

August was great. I feel pretty accomplished. Rarely were there any low calorie burn days. I think it's pretty obvious that I'm addicted to burning 1,000+ calories during all my workouts:-) I can't help it! I like being able to eat more hahaha! Also, I've been doing Insanity at work consistently now and I enjoy it. It's a real intense workout in a short period of time which is perfect cuz I never know when I'm gonna have to get up and go for a call. I've been really lucky lately though and haven't been getting interrupted during my workouts OR my showers which is a miracle!:-)

Well, I really need to go run. I got up earlier than usual today to try and get in an early run but then I was just being lazy and decided to write instead! Felt like I needed to get this over with before I procrastinated too much and waited another month!

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and enjoy these last days of summer!! I know I am!!:-)

Love,

Anna

The Vicious Cycle

You know I've been slacking when I haven't even written a blog in over a month. I actually feel embarrassed and disappointed in myself. I don't really have a legit excuse besides lots of overtime and procrastination. Mostly the latter. But as you can see from my calendar, my workouts have never been skipped. The 3 pink days were when I was sick and I couldn't do much, so I just went for walks and a run. It still counts!

Regardless of my consistent workouts, if my diet fails, then nothing gets accomplished. And I've definitely been struggling in that department. It's been tough this summer because I've had a lot of events to go to and of course there's always booze and good food involved. Even when I go into something with a positive attitude like "Yeah, I'm going to only eat a little, and only the healthy stuff..." it never turns out that way.

Or, for example, the other day I decided to make a "Williamsburg Tipsy Cake" for the guys at work. While cooking it I told myself I wasn't going to eat any at all. That it was just for them, and I would just do something while they devoured it. Wrong. Not only did I eat some at work with them, but I had leftover ingredients so I made a mini one for Charlie and myself and gorged on that. FAIL.

So currently I feel like I'm in this vicious cycle of eat good/workout a lot/eat HORRIBLE/try to make up for it/drink a lot/eat a lot/ try to make up for it/and so on. And it sucks! I'll start my day off with good intentions. I'll log all my food and eat perfectly. I'll have an amazing workout and feel great. Then I have a few options... end the night like that, binge on some healthy food before bed, or end up going out drinking and ruining everything. The drinking option has been happening a lot lately. There haven't been many days lately where I don't wake up feeling regret. A big belly full of regret.

I just hate how easily I am tempted by food. It honestly feels like an addiction. I have a very, very hard time saying no to food. Like when Eddie bought me 2 red velvet donuts at work the other day... No way I could turn those babies down! But then afterwards I sit and think to myself "Was that really worth it? Did it taste as good as the feeling you feel when you look in the mirror and see your stomach is flat??" NO. It's only satisfying for that tiny moment in time and then BOOM. Automatically I feel depressed afterwards.

I wish there were some type of pill or something to make my mind not want food all the time. I just love to eat. I think about food all the time. Especially at work, it can be slow sometimes and I just wander into the kitchen all the time to see what I can snack on, thinking "Oh, just a few bites won't hurt..." but when you do that 10 times, it eventually catches up to you.

I know I'm sitting here ranting so much and it's probably annoying, but I just have to get this off my mind. I know some people can probably relate to this, but others don't seem to be able to relate to me. Like, it's honestly frustrating for me to see the guys at work eat way more than I do, and they don't work out one bit, but they don't change. They just stay the same and that's that. Me? I eat less, I workout a ton, yet if I have one bite too many, I blow up like a balloon. I know this sounds so bratty, but god it's so unfair! The hardest part is not letting it get me so down that I decide to just give up. Regardless of how much my weight goes up and down, I still stay committed and bust my butt in the gym.

Like I told Charlie the other night, (while I was tipsy at The Cheesecake Factory) I'm trying... I'm trying REALLY hard to get to the point where I can just accept things. Why can't I just accept my body the way it is, but continue to improve it? I said "Even if I am a little chubby and don't have a nice, slim physique like I want, at least I'm strong. I have that. I'm very strong and it's even better with a little weight behind it." Right? I felt kind of weak saying that, because it sounded like something a complacent person would say and that is not what I am. I just want to be happy, that's all.

Besides FEELING fat lately, I've been doing great in the gym. Always trying new stuff and pushing myself harder. Today I stayed in the gym for 2 hours. And surprisingly, only 30 minutes of that was on the stairmaster. Even though I love it, I do feel like the stairmaster is like cheating. All I'm doing is walking up stairs repeatedly so even though it does burn a ton of calories, it's not the same as moving my body around and using my own body weight and stuff to get my heart rate up. I did a lot of lifting today, combined with some ab work and some crossfit stuff. It was a good time and I was completely drenched. I love it when my hair looks like a just got out of the shower;-)

No matter how discouraged I can get, I refuse to give up. I always have to look back and see how far I've come. I sometimes look at old pictures of myself just to remind myself what I NEVER want to look like again. And I suppose that whatever I look like now, is better than what I used to! Still, I'm always trying to improve and I hope that one day I can look at a picture of myself and go "Wow, I look good!"

Hopefully I can get my butt back on track soon. I'm hoping once summer is over that I can be more strict on myself. I have a few events coming up that should be a good time, but of course I'll be drinking/eating. There's a crab feast next week, the MDA tournament, and 2 concerts! In October I'm going to the Avenged Sevenfold concert with Charlie, then our 3 year anniversary will be a couple weeks later, so that'll be a splurge! I think we're going to Philly for a couple of days. You know I gotta have a cheesesteak!!:-)

There's probably a lot more I could whine about, but I will refrain. Time to watch some Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune, then bed! Work tomorrow:-) Thanks for listening to my rant!

xoxoxo
Anna

Rest Days?

Rosemary grilled salmon kabobs

Who needs em? Well, apparently me... I guess. Everyone knows I'm addicted to working out. Once I got on this roll I just couldn't stop. I look at my calendar every day and see all my work and I just can't stand to miss a day! It would make me very, very sad. So I choose to not have rest days. I know everyone says you need them, but I'm stubborn, what can I say?

Well, I think the no rest days finally caught up to me. That, coupled with the fact that I've been working overtime like a mad man! It started on Monday, I had worked at station 1 and went from there to station 30 to workout then do the CPAT conditioning class. I didn't actually think I was teaching the class that night but the person who was supposed to didn't show up, so I took over.

I came up with an awesome little routine for them. We did some pair workouts and then played with the bricks. Then someone decided to ask for more legs so that's what they got! We crushed legs! Wow, even MY legs were killing me. At the very end I even managed to slip some pilates in there!

Well, after an awesome workout, I got in my car to leave and noticed a little pinch in my throat when I swallowed. I didn't think much of it. It seemed to go away. I had some dinner and hung out with Charlie for a little bit then we hit the hay and it started coming back before I fell asleep. When he woke me up the next morning to say goodbye, I could tell it had gotten much worse. I could barely swallow and I was feeling pretty weak. I slept in a little longer and when I got up I took my temperature which turned out to be 100.4 Greaaaaat. So I made a doctors appointment for 1:45.

Egg whites with cocoa powder & strawberries

Well, unfortunately the doctor thinks its probably strep throat but I won't find out until tomorrow. Regardless, she started me on antibiotics. I had to call out of work today which sucks. Of course I feel guilty even though I know it was for the best.

So, besides not being able to do my usual killer workouts, I've been ok! I've mostly been working on eating "paleo" now. It's honestly not too bad. It's just hard to resist all the bread and cheese and dairy. Those are my weaknesses. But really, I didn't plan on being super strict paleo anyways. I still want to include grains and dairy in my diet, just not a lot.

Which brings me to the discussion of diets. I was thinking about it recently; how there are so many different "diets" people are on. Weight Watchers, Adkins, Medifast, whatever that shake diet is, and Paleo. I've chose to do paleo as well as still count my calories because counting my calories has always worked for me. It seems to be the one thing that keeps me on track with HOW MUCH I eat, at least. It may not always be the healthiest food, but at least I know it's not too much of a bad thing.

Now that I think about it, diets are almost like religions. Everyone has their own thing and they always think their thing is better. Certain diets seem cult like too. There's no way for me to say which way is the best way to go. My diet has kind of evolved over time. I didn't really pay attention to what I ate when I first started losing weight and I did still lose a lot of weight. But now I'm to the point where I want my body to be in it's prime. To be healthy and strong and energized! I want it to be happy with what I'm feeding it. That's why I chose paleo, because it seems to make the most sense when you read about it. By the way, if anyone is interested in learning about paleo, go to this website and read the 15 tips under "Paleo 101" https://www.paleodietlifestyle.com

That website also has great recipes that we've been trying. The first picture in this blog is a recipe from that site and it was amazing!! So delicious. And after you eat a paleo meal you feel so clean and satisfied and just healthy! I've already noticed some changes in my body and it's helping with my weight too, so I'm sticking with it!

Whichever way you are choosing to lose weight, just remember that it needs to become a permanent lifestyle change. It's not a temporary thing. If you want to lose weight and keep it off, you have to stay consistent with the way you eat. I've already learned the hard way that if you go back to your old ways, the weight will come back, fast!

Another topic I wanted to discuss was exercise. Lately, I've had a few people approach me and ask for tips or help with working out. I've even had people ask me to basically personally train them, which is surprising because I definitely am not a personal trainer. I think it's very flattering that people would come to me with those types of questions, but I find it very hard to answer them.

People seem to ask me questions that come off like they are looking for a simple solution to their problems. They want to know some "quick tips" or my "secrets." I definitely don't have any secrets. I think I make it pretty clear that all I do is bust my butt working out every day. It is simple. Eat less, workout more. That's all it comes down to. But there's no way that I can physically give people the motivation they need to get started. Everyone asks me "What clicked for you?" and I just don't know what to say! I never had an "A-ha" moment where everything just made sense. It all just slowly came together for me and I began to develop a love and passion for working out. I just can't tell people how to feel that same way!

So I apologize to anyone who is looking for help from me. I wish I could tell you there was a magic pill, but there's not. It takes lots of hard work and dedication. Sweat and tears. Ups and downs. 2 steps forward and 1 step back kind of deal. But if you give it your all and never lose sight of your goals and dreams then you will get there, I promise.

Well I must be off to go lay on the couch and sulk about being sick. The best part has been watching "Orange Is The New Black" all day. That show is AWESOME! Highly recommend it!

Oh, by the way, I've reached over 1,000 views!!! Yay!! Thank you wonderful people:-)

Bro, Do You Even Blog?

Before you think I was just slacking and not writing any blogs, I'll explain! The charger for our laptop decided to die and stop charging, so we had to get a new one. We just slacked a little on doing that. Needless to say, I didn't have any other way to write and there's no way I was going to try and write a blog from my phone! So, sorry about that! Now I have a bunch of stuff to catch up on!

My last blog talked about going to Nags Head and how nervous I was. I was pretty optimistic in the beginning. Before we left I weighed myself and I was 151. Not my lowest, but I was pretty happy with that number. I really tried to stay positive and remind myself often that just because I'm on vacation, doesn't mean I need to stuff my face! I'd have to say that I did pretty darn good with my eating throughout the trip. My breakfast and lunch were always good. Dinner was the only big meal I would have, and I usually had some kind of dessert.

Of course like every day, 5 times a day, I had to check myself out in the mirror to see how I was looking. I can tell any little difference in my weight just by looking at my stomach. To my surprise, my stomach was looking better than before while I was on vacation! At least the first few days it was... haha. Not to mention, my tan was getting better and better.

In the end, I did end up gaining quite a bit of weight. I was a little disappointed because I felt like I tried my hardest not to eat too bad AND I managed to work out every frickin day of my vacation! It makes me wonder, what if I hadn't worked out? How much worse would it have been?

The nice thing about the workouts was I got to rediscover my love of running and I was able to do it without my knee ever really bothering me. That was a nice feeling, especially considering it was one of the few things I could do while there. But, I also discovered that we had bikes at the house and I did some riding. I forgot how fun it is to ride a bike! It's also sooo much easier than running! I was able to do 11 miles in about 45 mins. It was fun!

I scanned back through my older blogs a little to see if I ever wrote about my tire. Did I?! I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but if not, I got my own big tire at 32! See, even though the guys tease me about working out and call me crazy, I know they care because they got me my very own tire to workout with!:-)

This thing is HUGE. A lot bigger than the one we have at station 30. I'd say it's about 350lbs or so. I can only flip it about 10 times max, but I am making progress with it. I've discovered lots of other stuff to do with it though. Dips, push ups, box jumps, ab work. It's very versatile. That's one thing about working out, you have to get creative. Think outside the box. Besides the StairMaster, I really don't like using any machines to workout with. Using your own body weight is so much better than sitting around on machines and working one muscle group at a time.

I worked this 4th of July, so I decided to bring in some patriotic snacks. For breakfast I brought a fruit bowl filled with strawberries, blueberries and bananas. It was delish. I love fruit so much. I try to eat it whenever I'm craving a dessert, which is a lot!

I thought the 4th might be a little bit busier at work, but it was actually slower than normal! We barely ran any calls. I started to get bored! We did have a nice joint lunch with 21 though, that was nice. Bobby cooked us an awesome meal. I think I definitely ate too much that day!

Of course I still worked out that day, but I don't remember how good of a workout it was. I try to burn at least 500 calories when I'm at work. It's rare that I get to my usual 1,000! But I just try to remember that something is better than nothing!

I also made a cake for us! It was funfetti, my favorite! I think everyone liked it, considering it didn't last more than 20 minutes lol.

I worked 36 hours straight Sunday/Monday and that was busy! We ran 10 calls on Monday, which is pretty busy for us. It wasn't so much the call volume as it was the wait times at the hospital! We were there about 2 hours every time. I basically had less than an hour between all of my calls so my workout on Monday was lame!

Yesterday Charlie and I started renovating the back yard. We had kind of let it get messy and decided that it needed a makeover. When Charlie got the house, it had a little area marked off for a playground and we just left it there. It started off as wood chips but then ivy started growing all over it and taking over the whole area and surrounding fence. Some of the bushes back there were getting out of control and Chief had made a graveyard of poop and old toys.

We were able to rip up all the ivy, trim some bushes, pull up the tarp stuff that was under the wood chips, clean up the toys and pick up some sticks. We still need to get the wooden beams that outline the little playground area out of the ground but they're really nailed in there! Gotta figure out how to pull them out, then we need to find a way to get all the junk we pulled up out of the backyard and disposed of.

After that, which was a workout in itself, we went to our friend Potter's workout that he does at station 10. He started this group workout a couple weeks ago and Charlie had been going but this was my first time. It was pretty fun! We did box jumps on the tires, decline push ups, sledge hits, and walked the stairs with a hose pack on our shoulder. We flipped the tires some and did some abs as well. All in all, a good workout! I think the group is great for Charlie and hopefully all the guys will continue with it.

Later, we rewarded ourselves with a nice little dinner on our deck. We did a paleo recipe "Lemon chicken kabobs with grilled zucchini" and it was delicious! We also grilled some peppers and had an avocado on the side. It was really good!! I'm definitely going to try more paleo recipes. I like them because they're so simple with minimal ingredients which is nice for me because I'm really not the best cook!

After my two workouts yesterday and my awesome dinner, I'm feeling great today and I even lost some weight. I'm hovering around 154 now so I'm getting close to being back to pre-vacation weight. I'm not sure why it's taking so long, but I guess summer time is just hard. So many parties and cookouts, trips to OC, nights of going out drinking, etc. It's going to be tough. I guess all I can do to combat that is amp up my workouts even more!

Tonight is CPAT conditioning at station 30 and I'll be there, as always. I really enjoy those workouts. The group atmosphere is nice and the fact that all the girls who come seem to idol me is very flattering. It makes me feel so proud to be me! I'm really loving all this CPAT stuff I've been doing. It's become almost like a part time job and another passion of mine. Working out makes me happy! I know most people can't understand that, but that's what makes me able to keep pushing myself every day. Working out has to become a habit, not just something you HAVE to do but don't really want to. It just needs to be a part of your normal routine like showering and brushing your teeth. And I think the fact that for the past TWO months I haven't missed a single workout just goes to show that you CAN do it, no matter how busy you are. I always find time to workout, even at work. So... no excuses people!

I think that'll do for a catch up post. I'll try not to get so behind on my blogs again! There's going to be some exciting stuff coming to blog about so look out for some new posts soon!

As always, thanks for reading:-)

Anna

I'm So Gifted At Finding What I Don't Like The Most

It's 9:30 on a Saturday night and I'm at home alone writing a blog. How cool am I? It's so hard to be responsible. I would have really enjoyed going out tonight, but alas, I accepted 12 hours of overtime tomorrow, so I must be good and go to bed early tonight. This whole weekend has been so not cray. I worked the first 8 hours of my first day off. Then I was tired so I didn't go out last night. Then I'm not going out tonight. And I won't be doing anything fun tomorrow between getting off work and getting ready for work the next day! So yeah. Blah.

Either way, I spent these three days off mostly trying to get rid of my Gettysburg weight. So yeah, no weigh in for me this week! Haha. I didn't gain a lot, but enough to get on my nerves and feel depressed about it. I just hate how frickin hard it is to lose 1 pound, but to gain 5 is sooooo easy! It can be so frustrating. And I can tell so easily when I've put on just a little. I see it. I think every single time I go to the bathroom I stare at myself in the mirror and critique my body for a few minutes until it makes me mad and I just move on.

I try my best to be positive, but sometimes I need to be hard on myself if I wanna make any progress. When I start to let things slide is when I start to gain weight. So I must be my toughest critic. I am being positive by not telling you how much weight I gained though! I'm sure I can get it off pretty quick... hopefully. I really don't like setbacks, but I know they will happen every now and then so I just try to accept it and move along.

Today was fun! I went to the CrossFit Regionals with Katie who is a friend of mine in the department and we watched them do their thang. It was awesome!! I had a great time and it was such good motivation to become stronger and more ripped!! I so want to do what those girls can do. It's amazing!

After that I came home and went to the mall to get my eyebrows did. I like getting my eyebrows threaded so I go to this place at Columbia mall. I always try to get the same lady because she does an awesome job! While I was there I decided to make a little pit stop at Elite (Sports Authority) and look for some new shoes. I wanted some that I could wear while lifting and doing my classes like Kickboxing and Total Conditioning. I needed something more light and stable. My shoes are all running shoes so they're really not meant for the kind of workouts I do.

I ended up getting these. Nike Free's Trainers. They're so light and comfortable! Very flexible too. I can't wait to try them out tomorrow when I go workout! I picked them out of the three I tried on because they were the most comfortable but also, they're black lol. If you know me, you know my favorite color is black and that's pretty much all I wear. So I was sold!

I think when I get off work tomorrow night I'll stop by 30 and get my sweat on. I'm definitely gonna try some of the workouts I saw at CrossFit today. I'd be too scared to try them at LifeTime because I'd probably mess up and embarrass myself! Hahaha!

Ok, I have a question for people. I encountered an issue tonight. I always have this problem... Peeling hard boiled eggs! Arghhhh. I've tried a few tricks that people have told me and still I always end up with some ratchet looking eggs! I got this plastic egg timer thing from William Sonoma and I thought it worked great at first. You're supposed to leave the egg in the water until the egg timer turns a certain color then take them out of the water. I've also tried adding salt to the water and that didn't work. Anyone have any advice?!

I'm starting to freak out. 1 more week till we head to Nags Head, NC for a week. I'm excited obviously but my paranoid workout addict self is kicking in and I'm so worried I'm going to gain like 50 pounds while I'm away. I'm hoping that my crazy workout streak will keep me committed to doing something every day. Even if it's just something small, I have to. And I really, really need to watch what I eat. I need to not give into my bad vacation habits. I'm going to come up with a chant to tell myself over and over again before we get there and throughout the trip!

One last thing before I hit the hay. Has anyone tried getting wrapped? It seems like the new craze and luckily I know someone who does it so I am going to give it a try! I've heard from a few people that they've had good results. Even if it is just temporary, I'm still willing to give it a shot. Even if it just makes my flabby stomach look a little better before the beach, I'll be happy! I'll make sure to take before and after pics/measurements so I can post them on here. I'm going Tuesday so I will update after that!:-)

I'm tired now! Bed time for me. Hope tomorrow isn't too busy on the ambulance!

Have a wonderful weekend peeps!

P.S. I love hearing from people that they read my blog! It's such a pleasant surprise and it makes me happy. BTW, I'm almost at 10,000 views!!! I <3 you guys!

My Strange Addiction

I'm a slacker, I know. I haven't updated in a little while. I seem to always have an excuse though. Usually it's because I want to wait for a weigh in, or because there's something I want to talk about but it hasn't happened yet, etc. But in this case, I kind of just wanted to wait for the end of the month so I could showcase all my hard work! Just wait till you see my calendar, it's epic!;-)

I went to the tattoo shop yesterday and got more color done on my back. My artist had thought she might be able to finish the whole thing but we both underestimated how much was actually left! She was able to do the pagoda, the mountains, the two butterflies, and lots of leaves and branches! All we have left now is the clouds at the way top, the sun behind the peacocks head and the leaves and branches on the lower right area.

All of that is gonna have to wait till around fall time. As much as I would love to have it finished now, I really don't want to sacrifice anymore fun in the sun, pool time! I love tanning too much to have a new tattoo throughout the summer so this is it for now. I think it all blends together pretty well so you can't tell that I have a few spots missing.

I have been working out like craaaaaaay. Pretty sure I'm addicted. Some people have actually told me that. I feel like some people admire me for it, and others think I'm crazy. Either way, I don't give an F what people think! Nobody knows how hard I've had to workout to get the decent body I have now. People try to say that I'm good and I don't need to lose anymore weight. Ummm, ok. It's not like once you get to the weight you want to be that you can just stop! Obviously that happened to me while I was in the academy and it didn't work out so well. Apparently my body needs strict diet and intense workouts just to stay in decent shape!

I guess my problem is I feel scared that if I don't work out, I'll automatically gain weight and fall back into old habits. Which is easy to do! And I never, ever, ever wanna go back to old Anna! So I do my best to work hard every day. Can't help it!

My favorite cardio equipment is the stairmaster. I mean, I kinda hate it, but it works the best. Look at that thing! It's covered in my sweat. That's after 45 minutes of being on there. It's torture but it's kinda cool to see your own sweat dripping off of you. I'm like "bye bye fat!" I love it! Always makes me feel awesome afterwards.

Well since I missed 2 weigh ins (again) I'll post them now!

Previous Weight - 152.8

Next Weigh In - 152 (5/22) 0.8 pounds lost

Current Weight - 149.8 (5/28) 2.2 pounds lost

Now maybe, juuuuust maybe, I can lose some more! This is right around where I got at my lowest weight ever, so I need to get past it! I'm aiming for 145. We'll see!!!

For the most part, I'm happy with my body. The main things I want to improve on are: my stomach, my back fat/love handles, flabby armpit area and the back of my thighs. I'd say that's about it. I've been working on ab/core work sooo much and I can actually see a lot of definition, the only problem is it's covered with my old, saggy skin. I've come to terms with the fact that I probably won't ever have a nice, flat stomach unless I get surgery. It's sad, but I can live with it. I will keep trying my best to work on that area and tighten it up the best I can. Maybe I can find some kind of cream to help too? Maybe? lol

Soooo, I'm starting to train for a competition I'm doing in September called "Iron Team Endurance Competition" It's a 4 person team competition with police departments, but I guess fire departments can join in as well.  Here's the flyer...

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY POLICE
SPECIAL OPERATIONS DIVISION
EMERGENCY SERVICES TEAM
FOURTH ANNUAL
IRON TEAM
ENDURANCE COMPETITION
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
0900hrs
Each four-person team will perform the following exercises:
Chain drag ( perform while wearing a gas mask)
Monkey bars ( perform while wearing a gas mask)
Team tire flip ( perform while wearing a gas mask)
Push ups
Sit ups
100-yard Zodiac boat paddle *
100-yard Zodiac boat carry (land)
35-yard water crossing *
3.5 mile trail run
50-yard equipment carry
Barrel roll
Clean and Press
25-yard tire pull
Pole flip/ carry
Individual tire flip
Low crawl
*All participants will don life vests prior to entering the water, and will be required to wear them until they exit the water.
 Above events are from 2012, distances are approximate and subject to change for 2013

 Highlight video of the competition

Not gonna lie... I'm kinda scared. Mostly for the monkey bars and clean and press, but everything combined is gonna wear me out so I really need to start training hard for it. Right now I'm mostly working on my clean and press. I'm getting pretty good at it, just need to up my weight. Anyways, I'm excited!

There you have it ladies and gentleman. My goal for the month of May was to workout every single day with no breaks. Well, I did it! Not to mention I had worked out 5 days consecutively at the end of April, plus today, so that makes 37 days straight!! Now, I know most people disagree with me. "Ohh, you have to have breaks every once in awhile!" Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm aware of that. But honestly, I just really wanted to see how committed I could be and obviously, I AM. My diet may not have been perfect that whole time, but my workouts were epic.

If you've been following my blog for awhile, then you kinda know my color scheme on my calendar, but if you don't... Basically, purple is any workout I did at my gym, dark blue is a workout at Co. 30's gym, pink is some form of running or walking, and green is any workout I did while at work. Generally the green workouts aren't as good because I really don't have the time to get in a killer workout while I'm on my shift.

It's officially June and probably one of my favorite months! So many fun things going on. Charlie's birthday is Monday, we go to Nags Head, NC the 16-23, Roch's birthday is the 22nd, and Rick's is the 28th. But we'll be celebrating the 29th at his annual birthday BBQ bash! Can't wait. Also just excited for the endless amount of hours I'll be spending at the pool tanning! I have so much to look forward to and I'm so excited!!!:-D

I guess I'll go start my laundry and do boring before-my-shift stuff. At least I'm on the engine tomorrow! Yay! Hope we get some good calls;-)

Have an awesome week!

Anna