Passions

Some people have one, some people have a few, and maybe some people even have none. Me? I have a few passions. I guess some could be considered more like goals. But those two words are pretty similar, anyways.

Ever since boxing with my personal trainer at the gym I've wanted to do it again. I got myself a pair of little "fighting" gloves. They aren't really legit boxing gloves, but they have gel in them to cushion your hands. Although you can see it obviously doesn't protect everything.

Yesterday I went to 30 and punched the bag for a long time! I was loving it! It's such an awesome way to relieve stress and take out your frustrations. Not only that, but if the time ever comes for me to fight, I will feel much more prepared. Even if it is just against some drunk Looney's girl that gets on my nerves... :-) So yes, I believe fighting/boxing is a new passion of mine.

Working out in general is my passion. I love the feeling you get during and after a work out. Out of breath, heart pounding so hard you can hear it in your ears, sweat dripping down your face and into your mouth... it's a rush! And after you work so hard, you get that amazing feeling of accomplishment afterwards. And that's the best part; the end! Most people never get to know that feeling because they give up long before that point. They just dwell on the fact that "Hey, this is difficult, it's uncomfortable, I can't breathe!" and all those other crappy feelings you can experience while working out, but if you can just get past that, you will understand the feeling of accomplishment.

Other small passions/hobbies of mine include running, shooting, photography, tattoos, and drinking hahaha! That last one is a joke, but I definitely do it often enough for it to be considered a hobby. Definitely not an addiction though, contrary to popular belief of some people!

Speaking of drinking, I went out last night. But, I was the DD. I did have a few drinks, but not many. And I stuck true to my word... I did not eat a single bite of food at the bar! I feel really good about that. I was able to wake up at 8:00am and go to station 30 to do the 9am workout with Lt. Bussing and other PGFD peeps. It was a good workout and then I did some bag work after that as well!:-)

The scale has not been changing much, but I have noticed changes in myself. I am getting strong. I can really tell the difference in my workouts. I've been doing a lot of bench pressing and I'm starting to get really good at it. I want to be a really strong girl. I want to be able to do my job just as well, if not better than any guy. I don't want people to help me with lifting things or pulling lines just because I'm a girl. I don't need special treatment! And I hate how some people assume that. I find it kind of funny!

I was thinking the other day how I wish holidays didn't revolve around food. I find myself eating terrible on pretty much any and every holiday. Thursday was Valentine's Day and I CRUSHED some chocolates! I can't even tell you how many I ate. Most people know I'm a sucker for sweets. I really, really am, and I hate that. I have self control when it comes down to a lot of things, but sweets? Can't seem to say no to them! I just have to dig really deep in myself and find a way to resist these temptations.

So this past week I did the "Adjunct Instructor School" at the academy and it was great! It was a great opportunity to brush up on skills that I haven't used since the academy. I also finally got to use the door prop to practice forcible entry and that was fun! It was really tough. Bobby and I did it together. I felt like I was doing pretty good at first, then it started to get kind of challenging and I sorta felt like a failure. We did finally get it open, but I wish I had done better.

The following day at work, I felt so much better about myself when Bobby said to me "Do you know how proud I was of you yesterday? You did so much better than all of those people there!" It was soooo nice to hear that! Almost made me a little misty eyed! It's not that my Officer is mean to me or anything like that, it's just really, really nice to get praised for doing a good job!:-) So happy!

Well, I'm off to run some long overdue errands. Pedicure and eyebrows!!! I so need both! Maybe I'll throw in a manicure since my hands are BEAT. They're starting to look like man hands!:-O

I'll write again soon! Thanks for reading:-)

Anna

Learning To Be Proud

I couldn't possibly be in a better mood to write a blog as I am now. I'm on the couch, wearing my Snuggie, Chief is on the floor next to me, I'm drinking tea, and listening to Pandora. This is the definition of "lazy day" in my book. Except, it hasn't been all that lazy. I woke up at 6am to go down to the Academy and take a class called "NFPA 1403: Conducting Live Fire" so now I can officially start fires for people in training. Woop! Kinda cool. Next week I am taking the 2 day course "Adjunct Instructor School" so that I can do more hands on teaching with future recruits and what not!

The class I took this morning was pretty cool. My Officer took it with me so that was nice. It was also kind of cool that we got the same score! Haha;)

I like that quote up there a lot! I think it's so true! I can really relate to it, considering I feel so much stronger and accomplished now than I ever have in my life. It's pretty cool being able to do things you never thought were possible. Not even just physical things, but social things as well. Having a confidence boost can really improve a lot of aspects of your life!

After I finished writing my last blog, Charlie and I went over to Annapolis Mall and shopped around. I fought off the urge to make a very big purchase, and instead I ended up with this cool new tea maker! I went to the store Teavana and the guy showed me all this stuff and gave me a sample of some tea. It was so good, I had to get it! I definitely plan on going back there again.

My eating habits have been great since then. I've been counting my calories regularly and making great choices. I feel a lot better and the scale is already showing some improvement, which brings me to the title of this blog. Pride. Being proud. Something I struggle with. Not really with other people, but mainly with myself. I can't seem to ever feel that proud of my accomplishments so far. I try to, and I think I am somewhat, but I still get those days where I can only feel like I'm disappointed. I guess I get nervous of being "over confident" or "cocky" by showing pride in myself. But, I am very proud of a few people in my life!

Recently, Charlie decided to start doing "Couch to 5k" which my long time readers know about. It's the same program I did when I first started losing weight. It's a program, in app form, or online, that slowly gets you into running. You increase your time/distance every week till eventually you can do a 5k, or at least close to it. He's already on week 5! I'm extremely proud of him for finally committing to something and not only that, but enjoying it! At least, it seems that when we he talks about it to me. I'm really happy that he's being really dedicated to it. He runs every shift and then every morning when he gets off work. I don't even have the discipline to do that! But that's mostly because we get crushed on the ambulance at night, and Howard County is slow;) Hehe, sorry Charlie!

Now, the other people that I'm very proud of are the guys on my shift! I'm actually slightly shocked. Two shifts ago they started a weight loss competition between 32 and 21, including the Battalion Chief. I didn't join in because I'm really not able to lose weight competitively anymore, so it didn't feel worth it to me. But! It is working out in my favor so far! Last shift, my Officer cooked healthy meals for all 3 meals of the day. Anyone that knows Bobby or has eaten his food, knows that it's not the healthiest. Every meal had to include meat, potatoes, cheese, butter, and bread. I found it extremely difficult to eat smaller portions there because the food was so amazing. But last shift... wow! I'm really proud of Bobby for being able to change his ways and cook us some healthy stuff. Him and John Michael have already lost weight! I'm really excited for them and I so hope that they can keep this up! Especially because I'm loving it!

Pictured to the right is my hand after a boxing session. It doesn't really do it justice. My knuckles were all red and bruised looking, and between those two fingers was a red bruise looking thing. It was so worth it though. I had never for real "boxed" in my life, but I was at the gym and my trainer just asked me out of nowhere if I wanted to try, so I agreed! It was a blast. And such a good workout! I was so tired. I can't wait to try it out again.

The last thing I wanted to talk about was my new challenge to myself. I decided to give myself a challenge and see if I can follow through and keep a promise to myself. So here it is...

I, Anna LaGrave, promise NOT to eat ANY food whilst out drinking, be it Looneys or any other bar. The only exception will be when the occasion is specifically deemed "Dinner and drinks" in which case I may eat, but intend to make a healthy choice.
I shall continue this challenge until my birthday, March 21st. The consequences of my failure to follow the rules has yet to be determined.

Signed,
Anna LaGrave

There you have it. From here on out, no more drunk bar food, no pizza, no McDonalds, not even food when I get home from the bar. Nothing. I will, however, eat a good meal prior to going out to avoid the possibility of becoming highly intoxicated from having nothing to eat.

Ok, now I am starting to feel that a nap is in order until it's gym time! Have a happy Friday, everyone!

Anna

Endless Abyss

Good morning! I hope everyone had as good of a week/weekend as I did! It's been interesting and busy! I did lots of fun stuff which is cool, but what's not cool is that everything "fun" I do seems to involve food. I mean, you all know that I can't seem to have drinks without following it up with a pizza. I feel like one of those people that says "I just can't have a drink in my hand without a cigarette in the other hand." Which I think is dumb, but that's how I am with food. When I drink I just get this insatiable hunger. I'm like a bottomless pit that needs greasy, yummy, and totally bad for you food to fill it up! So needless to say, in the food department, this week wasn't so great.

So you may be wondering why there is a picture of an awesome salad to the left. Well, that's how my week STARTED. I was doing so well. Went to Trader Joe's and got tons of good stuff. It really does help me to eat better when my fridge is packed with healthy options. Maybe if I just locked myself in the house and didn't go out anymore, I could avoid these temptations! But alas, I love going out and having fun, so I will just need to figure out a way to deal with that!

January 30th was Chief's 5th birthday! We just made the day we got him, his birthday. Since he was already 1 when we adopted him, and he was a rescue, we don't really know when his real birthday is. We spoiled him. Got him some really cute treats and a couple new toys. He was really happy! I can't believe he's getting so old. It makes me sad because the life span of a Great Dane is not very long. They say 7-10 years, but I've heard of ones living longer. I just hope that Chief can stay with us for a long time! I love him too much for him to leave me any time soon.

So this past week was kind of "sportsy" for me. As most people know, I'm not a huge fan when it comes to ANY kind of sport. I don't have a favorite team, or a sport that I enjoy watching on tv or in person. I just really dislike the way people act about sports. Claiming a team as "their" team, like they own them. Or the fact that some people get way too into it, and when "their" team loses, they go insane! People get all mad and depressed about it. So lame. Just get over it! But, with that being said, I actually watched a Hockey game and a Football game this week! I know... I feel kind of guilty too:-/

My friend Allison and I went out to Looney's Thursday night and had some drinks, then we headed over to Wells Ice Rink and watched the PGFD vs. DCFD game. I know a lot of people from both teams, but if I had to choose, I guess I was rooting for PGFD, considering I work for them! Too bad they lost! 6-2. Womp womp. After the game we went back to Looney's and it was crazy! It was 90's night which was EPIC. Nsync, O-town, Spice Girls, TLC!!! Amazing. I had a blast! Danced the night away. I'm sure I looked ridiculous as always, but whatevs!

Last night I went out to Baltimore City for the Ravens game. It was my first time ever watching a WHOLE football game and focusing on it. I won't lie, I got into it a TINY bit. But you can't deny that it was an intense game. Very suspenseful. I'm glad they won for my sake. I would not want to be surrounded by a mob of angry Ravens fans. Although everyone was acting cray and climbing street signs and trees. It was packed in the streets and FREEZING. I really need to learn how to dress for cold weather:-[

Although this was a very fun week, it was also depressing at times. Seeing the scale go up and down and up and down. It's just so frustrating. Some days I just tell me self not to eat anything because I feel so fat. I know that's not the right thing to do, but it's the only thing that will make me feel better about myself sometimes.

I'm just soooo annoyed with how I can't lose weight. I feel like I'm doing exactly what I did before, but it's not working. I just would love to at least get back to 150, since I've been there before! Why is it so hard to lose 7 pounds? Just SEVEN! It's not that much, yet it would make a world of a difference to me. It's insane how I can tell if I ate too much just by the way my clothes fit. And that's what bothers me the most is looking at myself in the mirror and seeing fat. I just would love to look at my body and love it. Yes, it is way better than it was before, but it's not what I want. I have so many imperfections that annoy me. And anyone who tries to tell me otherwise... you haven't seen me naked! So there.

I guess I just really need to start doing some insane workouts and cracking down on my eating like MAJORLY. What I'm doing now apparently just isn't enough! What I'm really hoping is that when it gets nice out, I can really start getting back into my running, which is my favorite thing and I think it's what helps me the most. So even though I seem like such a debbie downer, I'm TRYING to be hopeful that things will get better. I know I need to work on my attitude towards my body and what not, but it's just difficult. I'm a real picky person and I guess I just have this image in my mind of what I want to look like and that's what I will work my way towards achieving!

My January calendar was NOT what I wanted it to be. I had intended on starting the year off right, instead, I was sick! But, as soon as I got back from NOLA, I did my best to get back into it. I worked out every day I was off except the 28th. I think I wasn't feeling well or something. Anyways, February is going to look much, much better!! My goal, for now, is to get to 150 by my birthday, March 21st.

Ok, enough whining for today! I gotta go run some errands and what not, then I'm heading to the gym tonight. I'm gonna try to update more frequently, promise:-) Thanks for stopping by!

Anna

Why Am I Awake?

Good morning. Today is Sunday, it's 9:08am, and I went out drinking last night. I'm not quite sure why I'm awake right now, to be honest. It's possible that I'm still drunk. Either way, I'm in a good mood, so I decided to write a random blog.

Last night was Rob's birthday shindig at Looney's. First we pregamed at Rick and Jo's house, which was awesome because I got to cuddle with her new puppy! She's actually fostering two puppies right now, but one was really shy and timid. It makes me want another one! But then I remember how much work it is and usually end up changing my mind.

Looney's was fun. It was packed! From the moment we got there until we left, there was so many people. Apparently there was a line out the door that wrapped around the side of the building just to get in! I know it was crowded in the beginning because of hockey, but not so sure why the rest of the night was so popular.

My goal last night was to NOT order any food at Looney's. I really wanted to not eat anything and to just drink. Well, I didn't order anything, but I did end up eating! I was being a scavenger and stealing everyone's food. I had some fries, nachos, and a little bite of a potato skin. Not the worst, but then we went to Ratsie's and got pizza:-( Fail. I don't even remember how many slices I ate. We drunkenly ordered TWO LARGE pizzas for three of us. It was amazing though. I love that place.

I almost got into a fight with some girl last night, it was pretty funny. She bumped into my chair, like really bumped it and I said "Watch where you're walking." and she started talking back to me. I was totally more bitchy than her. I called her a douche when she walked away, haha!:-) She was so little... wouldn't have stood a chance against me!

Also, when we were leaving Ratsie's, we got a cab and as Roch and I were getting in, some random girl comes over and tries to get in the front seat. Charlie was like "No, you get out!" hahaha, it was hilarious. She was so blown. Crazy drunk people!;-) All in all, a good night. We slept over at my parents house which is always entertaining. I actually slept really well, despite being in the same room as 3 birds and a rat. They're kind of like one of those noise machine things that help people fall asleep.

As much as I wanted to sleep in, we had to come back and let Chief out. I'm surprisingly not feeling too bad, but like I said earlier, I could still be drunk. On that note, I'm totally contemplating just going to the gym now. Just getting it over with and then napping after... but I dunno! Such a tough choice. I'm just worried that if I don't do it now, I won't do it later. I MUST workout today. I need to be consistent. Especially after all that pizza! Plus, as you can see up above, December was a TERRIBLE month. The lack of exercise can be explained for the most part. Hurting my knee, being sick, whatever, but in the beginning of the month, I have no clue why there were so many days I skipped! What a slacker:-(

As I'm sitting here on my couch though, all warm and cozy with a blanket on and my rookie book cuddled up next to me, I REALLY could go for a nap. Sighhhh. I need to quit drinking... LOL.
The reason I have my rookie book next to me is because I'm trying to study hardcore for my chapter 3 test. I take it with the Battalion Chief tomorrow! I'm so nervous! I have to pass this, otherwise my Officer is gonna hate me. I'm just so ready to finish this book!

Oh, some good news to report... All the weight I gained in New Orleans is gone! Back to my normal self. Although, after last night, who knows! I'm scared to get on the scale so I'm just going to avoid it. Besides the pizza, I ate AWESOME these 3 days off. I went to Trader Joe's and stocked up which really helps me to eat better. I have so many healthy choices when I look in the fridge now.

Yesterday was so nice out so I finally decided to go for a run! I thought it had only been maybe 2 weeks since I last ran, but I just looked at that calendar and I see now that it was over a MONTH! OMG... how did that happen?? I need to never do that again. I must keep up my running skills. I did 4 miles yesterday and it really wasn't too bad, so hopefully that long break didn't mess me up.

Ok, now I am really sleepy and starting to close my eyes. I started off this blog being so chipper and optimistic and now I'm just blahhh. I guess I'll take a nap and then workout later. Even if I at least do a workout video or run on the treadmill, it's better than nothing!

Alright, time to snooze. Thank you for reading, it really makes me happy!:)

<3
Anna

A Weekend In New Orleans

Jambalaya, Red beans and rice, Gumbo, Sausage

I'm back!! New Orleans was an amazing place and I had a fabulous trip! The best part was getting to spend the weekend with my friends from Children's that I definitely don't get to see as often! It was so nice to hang out with them again. Also, I got to meet some new friends as well!

The food there is fantastic! But definitely fattening. I also didn't hold back one bit on anything I ordered, so that didn't help! The combination of food and super sugary drinks really took a toll on me. I gained 6 lbs. Yes, you heard correct, 6 effing pounds!! WTF? I didn't even know that was possible! I couldn't believe my eyes when I stepped on the scale.

It was totally worth it though. I got to experience real New Orleans food and I loved it. I also had a constant buzz or was totally drunk the entire weekend, so mission accomplished. While it was an amazing trip, I'm glad to be back so I can start working out again and trying to eat healthier.

Duck with Gnocchi

 While in NOLA, we ate at Acme Oyster House, Domenica, Ruby Red Slipper, Praline Connection, Ruby Red Slipper (again), and randomly, Arby's hahaha. We also had some gross street pizza that, at the time, tasted like gourmet zza! Of course everything tastes better when you're drunk!

At Domenica I got to try duck for the first time. Can't say I'm a huge fan now or anything. It wasn't bad, I just didn't think it was memorable. Kind of tasted like turkey! But the meal was good and it was a nice place.

At Acme Oyster House we had chargrilled oysters and craw pups for appetizers. I loved the oysters! They taste so much better grilled and these had some type of cheese melted on top of them which made them taste amazing! I'm definitely a fan now. The craw pups were pretty good too. I had a variety platter for dinner, so I got to try a little bit of everything. The Jambalaya was definitely my favorite! I loved that stuff and I could eat a ton of it!

Eggs Blackstone

Saturday morning for breakfast, we went to Ruby Red Slipper which I loved. It was a cute little place with old wooden tables that were kind of rickety, and neat pictures on the wall. The menu was really interesting and everything on it looked great so it was really hard to choose. I went for the Eggs Blackstone. WOW! Biscuits with tomato, bacon, poached eggs, and hollandaise sauce on top. Frickin delicious! It was so good that I got it again the next morning when we went back!:-)

It probably wasn't the healthiest meal, but like I said earlier, no holding back! We also got Bellinis and Mimosas! Had to start early on the alcohol;-) I loved that place and if I ever go back to NOLA it will be at the top of my list to visit again.

Pretty much every day there consisted of waking up, getting ready, eating breakfast and immediately finding the closest spot to get a drink. Around there, hand grenades and frozen drinks are really popular. They have all these bars that all they sell is frozen drinks. There's a whole line of these frozen drink machines with about 10 flavors or more. I got a lot of those because they were easy to find and easy to drink! I had Mango, Peach Colada, Margarita, and "The Jester" which was some green flavor lol.

Taste of Soul Platter

Saturday night we went kind of far from our hotel to a place called "Praline Connection" which was legit soul food! It was crazy. I sorta felt like I was on an episode of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. We had fried pickle chips and gator sausage for appetizers. The fried pickles were amazing! I think we all ate too many! I liked the gator. It tasted pretty similar to regular pork sausage.

Of course I ordered the "Taste of Soul Platter" because I wanted to try everything! It came with Jambalaya, Ribs, Gumbo, Red Beans and Rice, Fried Chicken, Fried Catfish, and Bread Pudding!! Not everything is in that picture! Haha. I'm so fat!! But man, it was awesome. I really liked the catfish and the bread pudding was soooo good!

We all felt soooo fat and stuffed after that meal that we had to go back to the hotel and digest for a little before making our next venture out to go drink. It was the kind of meal that made you just want to take a nap afterwards, but alas, we had to continue to partayyyy!

One night we had a VIP table with bottle service, that was epic! We also went to a place called "Cat's Meow" both nights and that place was fun! It's a karaoke bar and they'll let pretty much anyone get on stage and dance! Me and a bunch of the other girls definitely ended up there a few times!:-)

We also got to experience throwing beads off a balcony which was fun but also a little scary! It's definitely not a good idea to literally THROW beads at people! They don't like that. Also, some people just want to flash you and it's not a pretty sight! But you gotta give them beads anyways, they still deserve the credit! Haha!

New Orleans was filled with tons of interesting people and lots of cool shops. The buildings were unique and pretty to look at. Some things were just different around there than they are here in MD. Locks on the door, for example. A lot of them were just little buttons next to the door knob that you push in. I had never seen that!

It was an awesome place that I'm so glad I got to experience. It was also only my second time flying ever and I think I did pretty well! Going there was fine, but coming back we went through a storm and it was so shaky! I definitely felt like I was going to puke a few times:-( But I survived and now I can't wait for the next trip!

I could go on and on about the things we did in NOLA, but I can't disclose all of that information on this blog!;-) I'm also going to make an album on facebook soon with more pictures. I just have to figure out which ones are safe to post, haha:-)

Oh, I forgot to mention that I went to the gym last night. First time since December 30th!!:-( But I was there for hours and worked my butt off and am happy to say that 3 of those 6 vacation pounds are already gone! Phew! Hopefully I can get it all off ASAP and work on getting down to my goal weight! I'm soooo ready!! Speaking of working out, I have to go! I'm meeting up with Lt. Bussing at station 30 and we're gonna have a hardcore workout! I'm a little scared, but I know it'll be worth it in the end!

Thanks for stopping by and reading about how fat I was this weekend:-) Check back for healthier updates!!

Anna

2 Years

Hey there, dedicated blog readers. First, let me apologize for slacking towards the end of the year. I have a few reasons why. Things were going great... I was exercising every day, eating decently. Then it was Thanksgiving, of course that sucked as far as eating goes. In the beginning of December, I hurt myself at work and had to take a little break from exercising, so that wasn't cool. And my latest excuse, being sick. There were tons of parties during the month of December so it's been difficult to eat healthy. There's also been a ton of drinking. I think the combination of that, and lack of sleep, finally got to me.

I worked Christmas Eve and it was crazy busy! I got one hour of sleep and felt terrible when I got off work in the morning. I had to go to my parents house to do presents and breakfast. When I finally got back home, it was noon. I slept until 5pm and when I got up, I knew I was sick! It started off small, just a sore throat and runny nose. But now? It has transformed into some kind of never ending super cold. It has officially been 2 weeks straight that I've been sick. I'm wondering when it's going to go away. I'm past the point of no return for going to the doctor's. I refuse! Yes, I'm stubborn like that.

So, needless to say, I have NOT been working out these past two weeks. I did go to the gym one day when I was feeling decent, but it most likely just set me back in my recovery, so now I'm waiting till I'm fully better... Which sucks!! I'm dying not being able to work out!:-(

Anyways, the original reason I wanted to write this blog is because tomorrow is my 2 year anniversary of starting my weight loss journey. I work tomorrow though, so I had to write this today. I can't believe that it's already been 2 years! Time went by even faster in 2012, than it did in 2011. In 2011, it was all about losing as much weight as I could. I worked out like crazy, ran tons of races, and had the best eating habits I'd ever had in my life. After a year of losing weight, I had reached my goal, and even gotten to my lowest weight of 149.2 in February 2012. I felt amazing! I was in my prime. I felt strong and fast! I was probably in the best shape of my life in the beginning of March 2012, right before the academy started. I explained in my blog "Coming Clean" back in September 2012, how the academy life actually caused me to GAIN weight, rather than lose it, like I thought I would.

By the end of the academy in June, I had reached 172 pounds. So depressing! No one wants to gain weight EVER, after losing as much weight as I did. I decided to finally take control and do something about it. Luckily I got down to 157.2! Still heavier than my lowest weight, but I'm just happy to be back in the 150's. Now I realize what people are talking about when they say it's harder to maintain than it is to lose weight. I suppose that in the end, gaining 8 pounds over a year of maintaining isn't TOO bad. And I plan to lose that, and more, ASAP! I just need this sickness to go away! It's really holding me back. I also want to work on my eating habits. I used to be really, really good at eating well. I HAVE to get back in that mindset! I just need to get serious about this and stop half-assing it!

Besides weight, a lot of other things changed throughout the year. I'm a totally different person than I was just last January. Getting hired, going through the academy, and getting assigned to 32 has changed a lot of things. It's all been for the better. I couldn't be happier with my career! I love my job, my crew, my schedule, everything! Every shift I learn something new. I get to experience some of the most fun stuff ever! Being a firefighter now makes me wish that I had been doing it all along when I was a volunteer. It is SO FUN!

My priorities in life have changed as well. When I was working at Children's, all I wanted to do was get married, have kids ASAP, and be content with life. I didn't care about being healthy or active. I didn't even think about progressing in life past where I was. I never had goals or dreams. I just settled. Now that I have shown myself that I CAN change, things are totally different! I have set goals and surpassed them! My idea of having kids is on hold because I want to focus on ME and become the best person that I can be. I continue to make new goals for myself all the time because it keeps me motivated and gives me something to work towards. I will never just settle for "good enough" anymore.

Anyways, I figured I'd put up some comparison pics to show how I've changed (or not) in the past year. I'm still pretty happy with the way I look, but I'll never be fully satisfied. That may or may not be a good thing!

2011

2012

2011

2012

Old job 2011

New job 2012

Well, I'm hoping that soon I can start doing my weekly weigh ins again. My current goal is to get down to 140. I know I can do it. I just have to be dedicated!

Here's to another year of losing the bad stuff and gaining the good stuff! Check back soon for a new blog. I plan to start fresh and keep up with it like I used to! Thanks again to my loyal readers:-) Love you guys!

xoxoxo

Anna

A Little Late...

But hey, I've been busy... sorta.
I actually meant to post a picture of this on my last blog but I was too lazy to go downstairs and take a picture of it. I'd say it was a decent month. Missed some days most likely because of being hungover and then obviously because of work.

I did a lot of running, a few gym seshes and a few Jillian videos. Nothing burned any super crazy amounts of calories though. I'm working on that this month! I have definitely started increasing my mileage recently. I had forgotten that I kind of like running in the cold. It sucks at first, but once you warm up it gets more comfortable and the cold air starts to feel good on your hot skin.

I'm actually thinking about doing a 5k the Saturday after Thanksgiving. It's right by my house, so I figure, why not? I feel so guilty for barely doing any races this year. I wanted to beat last years number but not even close:-( Oh well, next year I will try! And I also think I'm going to do another half marathon next year. Haven't decided which one yet!

I'm so thankful that I was able to fall in love with running again. That has been one of my biggest accomplishments recently. I was really starting to feel like a failure for not being able to run anymore, but luckily I got my groove back:-)

I never thought I'd be writing about this, honestly. I told myself I'd never gain any weight back, but now I realize what people are saying when they talk about "maintaining" being harder than actually losing the weight. It SO is. It's so frustrating to go from feeling like the weight is just melting off you, to having to workout like a maniac and eat perfect just to drop 1 pound. I guess my tactics for losing weight before just aren't working the same anymore. I'm just not sure what I can do differently to lose weight!

You would think that after all that whining about not losing weight, that I wouldn't have a weigh in, but I do! Yay, how exciting! Granted, I'm a little behind on posting this weigh in, I have at least stayed the same weight since then. I guess this is just going to be a slow process the second time around. Here's the weigh in...

Previous Weight - 159.8 (10/11)

Current Weight - 157.2 (11/8)

Weight Lost - 2.6 Pounds

So basically a month to lose 2.6 pounds. That's soooo slow but I'll take it! It's better than nothing.

Here's a recent picture of me. We had beautiful weather the other day and I was actually able to wear this outside and play tennis! It was great!:-) I'm pretty satisfied with how I look although I am starting to run into the same issue I was having when I got to my lowest weight: my stomach.

I feel like I look decently skinny everywhere except my stomach. I guess I was just so fat that it really stretched out my stomach and most likely it will never go back to normal. It's super ugly and I hate it. I feel like I will never be fully happy with my body. I guess I will just have to deal with it, or get a tummy tuck lol... yeah right, maybe if I win the lottery!

I can't believe that Thanksgiving is next week! That's gonna be a bad day. I will not hold back one bit! lol. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I can't help it, I love to eat! And this will be my first Thanksgiving at 32. It will be my first Thanksgiving ever NOT spent with my family but I am totally okay with that. I'm excited to spend it with my fire department family:-) It's going to be a huge feast! Can't wait!

So yesterday I worked, but I was detailed to station 806 which is in the Largo/Landover area. It was by far the best detail I've done! The crew was great, the station is AMAZING, and the call volume was low. I just had a great time with the guys there. We played Foosball and Spades, and ate red velvet cake! It was sweet. Their station is so high tech, it's crazy! The best part was probably sleeping all night lol:-) Even though I slept all night, I still came home and went back to sleep until 1pm! What is wrong with me? I guess I just love sleep!;-)

Ok, time for me to get off the couch and do something productive. It looks kind of nice outside, so maybe I will go for a run! My next blog better have a kick-a** weigh in!!:-P

Toodles,
Anna