Endless Abyss

Good morning! I hope everyone had as good of a week/weekend as I did! It's been interesting and busy! I did lots of fun stuff which is cool, but what's not cool is that everything "fun" I do seems to involve food. I mean, you all know that I can't seem to have drinks without following it up with a pizza. I feel like one of those people that says "I just can't have a drink in my hand without a cigarette in the other hand." Which I think is dumb, but that's how I am with food. When I drink I just get this insatiable hunger. I'm like a bottomless pit that needs greasy, yummy, and totally bad for you food to fill it up! So needless to say, in the food department, this week wasn't so great.

So you may be wondering why there is a picture of an awesome salad to the left. Well, that's how my week STARTED. I was doing so well. Went to Trader Joe's and got tons of good stuff. It really does help me to eat better when my fridge is packed with healthy options. Maybe if I just locked myself in the house and didn't go out anymore, I could avoid these temptations! But alas, I love going out and having fun, so I will just need to figure out a way to deal with that!

January 30th was Chief's 5th birthday! We just made the day we got him, his birthday. Since he was already 1 when we adopted him, and he was a rescue, we don't really know when his real birthday is. We spoiled him. Got him some really cute treats and a couple new toys. He was really happy! I can't believe he's getting so old. It makes me sad because the life span of a Great Dane is not very long. They say 7-10 years, but I've heard of ones living longer. I just hope that Chief can stay with us for a long time! I love him too much for him to leave me any time soon.

So this past week was kind of "sportsy" for me. As most people know, I'm not a huge fan when it comes to ANY kind of sport. I don't have a favorite team, or a sport that I enjoy watching on tv or in person. I just really dislike the way people act about sports. Claiming a team as "their" team, like they own them. Or the fact that some people get way too into it, and when "their" team loses, they go insane! People get all mad and depressed about it. So lame. Just get over it! But, with that being said, I actually watched a Hockey game and a Football game this week! I know... I feel kind of guilty too:-/

My friend Allison and I went out to Looney's Thursday night and had some drinks, then we headed over to Wells Ice Rink and watched the PGFD vs. DCFD game. I know a lot of people from both teams, but if I had to choose, I guess I was rooting for PGFD, considering I work for them! Too bad they lost! 6-2. Womp womp. After the game we went back to Looney's and it was crazy! It was 90's night which was EPIC. Nsync, O-town, Spice Girls, TLC!!! Amazing. I had a blast! Danced the night away. I'm sure I looked ridiculous as always, but whatevs!

Last night I went out to Baltimore City for the Ravens game. It was my first time ever watching a WHOLE football game and focusing on it. I won't lie, I got into it a TINY bit. But you can't deny that it was an intense game. Very suspenseful. I'm glad they won for my sake. I would not want to be surrounded by a mob of angry Ravens fans. Although everyone was acting cray and climbing street signs and trees. It was packed in the streets and FREEZING. I really need to learn how to dress for cold weather:-[

Although this was a very fun week, it was also depressing at times. Seeing the scale go up and down and up and down. It's just so frustrating. Some days I just tell me self not to eat anything because I feel so fat. I know that's not the right thing to do, but it's the only thing that will make me feel better about myself sometimes.

I'm just soooo annoyed with how I can't lose weight. I feel like I'm doing exactly what I did before, but it's not working. I just would love to at least get back to 150, since I've been there before! Why is it so hard to lose 7 pounds? Just SEVEN! It's not that much, yet it would make a world of a difference to me. It's insane how I can tell if I ate too much just by the way my clothes fit. And that's what bothers me the most is looking at myself in the mirror and seeing fat. I just would love to look at my body and love it. Yes, it is way better than it was before, but it's not what I want. I have so many imperfections that annoy me. And anyone who tries to tell me otherwise... you haven't seen me naked! So there.

I guess I just really need to start doing some insane workouts and cracking down on my eating like MAJORLY. What I'm doing now apparently just isn't enough! What I'm really hoping is that when it gets nice out, I can really start getting back into my running, which is my favorite thing and I think it's what helps me the most. So even though I seem like such a debbie downer, I'm TRYING to be hopeful that things will get better. I know I need to work on my attitude towards my body and what not, but it's just difficult. I'm a real picky person and I guess I just have this image in my mind of what I want to look like and that's what I will work my way towards achieving!

My January calendar was NOT what I wanted it to be. I had intended on starting the year off right, instead, I was sick! But, as soon as I got back from NOLA, I did my best to get back into it. I worked out every day I was off except the 28th. I think I wasn't feeling well or something. Anyways, February is going to look much, much better!! My goal, for now, is to get to 150 by my birthday, March 21st.

Ok, enough whining for today! I gotta go run some errands and what not, then I'm heading to the gym tonight. I'm gonna try to update more frequently, promise:-) Thanks for stopping by!

Anna