It's Been Awhile

This is my life

Its not what it was before

All these feelings I've shared

And these are my dreams

That I'd never lived before

Somebody shake me

Cause I 

I must be sleeping

Can anyone tell the theme I have going for this blog so far? Well, I heard that song in the car the other day on my way to work and although I've heard that song so many times, and it's by one of my favorite bands, I had never really paid attention to the lyrics that much until that morning. The first verse mainly hit home with me, but the whole song is really fitting for me. I mean, that is truly how I feel sometimes. Like, am I dreaming? Is my life really like this? Sometimes it just feels too good to be true.

To be working for the fire department was first out of the question completely, then it became a distant dream that was most likely out of my reach, and one day it become so close I could taste it and now... it's mine. I'm livin the dream and it feels so good!

Speaking of work, it has been amazing the past two shifts. First, let me say that I do not get joy from other peoples property and belongings being ruined by fire. People seem to think that about most firefighters. That we like the fact that someones lives were just ruined. Wrong. It's not about that. It's about the excitement of the job. The thrill of hearing the 3 beeps go out, running to the fire truck or engine, anticipating what you will see when you arrive on the scene, getting out to see something like a house totally engulfed by fire and knowing that you get to go in there and try to put it out. There's no other feeling like it. Some people might find that crazy, but I'm not scared to do my job. It's the best job in the world.

We've had a house fire my past two shifts so it's been a real good learning experience for me. Even though I volunteered for 8 years before getting hired, this is my first time doing actual fire fighting things. So even the littlest of fires are cool to me. I've been at 32 for 3 months now and it's been an amazing experience so far. It's a pretty busy station. We run a lot of ambulance calls throughout the day. And a decent amount of fire calls. But things seem to be picking up here lately. I'm excited to see what the next shift brings.

After I got off work yesterday morning I went to visit the crash site of the Trooper 2 helicopter. It was 4 years ago that day. I visited last year, and I plan on visiting every anniversary from now on. I went on the call that night and it was one of the saddest incidents I've been to. I've been to many calls where people lose their lives, but to lose the lives of 2 troopers, 1 EMT and 1 civilian is just devastating. To die in a helicopter crash? I can't imagine how scary it must have been for all of them. It just saddens me so much. So that is why I go visit and will continue to.

I got home around 10am yesterday and tried to take a quick nap before my tattoo appointment at 1pm. I kinda hoped I could fall asleep during the tattoo since I was so tired, but no luck. It wasn't terrible, I'd say. I seem to do best if I just lay with my head down and not talk. I try to get "in the zone" so it doesn't hurt as much. I wish there was a magic trick to make tattoos not hurt, but there's not. And I'd like to think I have a decent pain tolerance, but who knows. One thing is, no matter how many tattoos you get, the pain never gets better!

This one was only about 3 hours though, so it wasn't too bad. I love it. Dee always gives me exactly what I want. It's like she can read my mind and draws up just what I was thinking. She's the best:-) I can't wait to add the color and then get started on the top and the other side. It's going to be awhile, but I will eventually fill in my whole back! I'm committed.

Here's a current picture of me. It's meh. I'm definitely not where I want to be, but I can see some improvement. This past 1.5 weeks has been a bit of a struggle. After going out Friday night, it took awhile to recover. It's ridiculous how one night of drinking and eating something bad can mess you up for AWHILE. It's so unfair. It makes me feel like I can never have a fun night without paying the consequences. Like, why does my body have to be so sensitive to foods? I know people who eat McDonald's every day and it does nothing to them. If I had 1 McNugget I'd gain 5 pounds. So frustrating.

I try not to let one bad day get to me though. I have to straighten up the next day and get right back into it. Even if I want to eat my favorite hangover Chinese food, or skip working out, I can't. I have to be good and get back on track otherwise I'll start going down the wrong path again. That's how most people end up quitting their diets, because they have one bad day, so they figure why not be bad the next day, then the next, then what's the point, I had three bad days so why even bother? I will not let that happen to me.

Well, even though It's been more than a week since my last weigh in, I'll still do it. It should be better than this, but yeah... the drinking:-(

Previous Weight - 163.2 (9/17)

Current Weight - 162.0 (9/29)

Weight Lost - 1.2 Pounds

I hope that between now and my next weigh in, I can get under 160. That would make me so, so happy! Luckily it's Saturday and I have no plans of going out drinking, and I didn't go out Friday night, so at least I have this weekend out of the way. It looks like it's beautiful out so I think I will go for a nice run. The question is, where at? I'm always searching for new places to run. If anyone has any suggestions, leave me a comment (on here or on facebook.)

Well, I suppose that's all I got for now. I'll try to update a week from now with hopefully some good news!

Thanks for reading:-)

Anna